Parents... leading cause of Insanity

Ok… I need advice on how to currently deal with my father… And I’m not sure of my therapist right now.
Basically my therapist and I have both told my father conflicting availabilities… I’ve mentioned that I work 3-11pm and can’t do afternoons. My Dad ‘got’ this… what my father seemed to have missed is my therapist can NOT do mornings. So my Dad keeps trying to suggest mornings.
I spoke about this with my therapist this past Saturday- because quite frankly I wouldn’t mind if my therapist reminded my Dad about this… I didn’t tell my therapist that- merely that I was getting tired of my Dad suggesting a day here or there that was good for MY DAD… and my therapist not responding to these requests. My therapist is annoyed that my Dad doesn’t realize that my therapist can’t do mornings… and I feel a bit caught in the middle--- which is NOT a place I want to be.
I suggested, half hearted, that I give my Dad a clue… but to be frank, I’ve been dealing with work and at this point would rather NOT deal with my father..

SO right now I’ve told my father that March wasn’t good for me and we’d talk about April LATER. And I’m left wondering at what point I just clue my Dad in and say ‘SATURDAYS, DAD! Suggest a F***ing Saturday.
--
As far as my mom goes… Oy! I want to see her and my nephews for Passover and have asked for Wednesday, first night of Passover AND Tuesday off. My mom has matinee tickets to a play of some sort (forget) on Wednesday- so I was trying to plan my trip around that. Well, I talked to my mom this AM. My brain wasn’t fully functional but I wanted to let her know I asked for Tuesday and Wednesday off- and told work that I could work Palm and Easter Sundays if they needed.
My mom then informed me that she would NOT have my nephews over at HER apartment for Passover… They’re too loud and her apartment is TOO SMALL for them. AND since we’re going to a play- she doesn’t want to drive to my step-sister’s house in upstate New York.
So, I’m going to a play that I could care less about… and might NOT get to see my nephews. Bummer. Even though my mind wasn’t fully up… (and I told my mom this) I told my mom that IF I got Tuesday off- I’d travel to my sister’s place on Tuesday and then come in to NYC with her husband on Wednesday… as that would still put me in the city earlier then if I just had Wednesday off- and then I’d be able to spend SOME time with my nephews.
However that said this will be the first time at my new job that I’ve asked for time off- and since it’s NOT retail… not sure how it works there or IF I’ll get the days off (though I did tell them I need the days off for PASSOVER- so they’d know it was for religious reasons)

Historic Books

Book 2- Team of Rivals by Doris Kearns Goodwin – Ok this book came HIGHLY recommended… And it was a nice BIG book which I thought was good for work. I thought it was very well written. (And yes- it MIGHT be considered amusing that I finished it on President’s Day).
To me, the most interesting NEW fact that I learnt was the fact that Booth tried to have a couple of co-conspirators kill the Secretary of State- Steward and Vice President Johnson the same night he killed Lincoln…. Of course since I didn’t know that- the other two weren’t successful- but it was interesting to find out how large a vision Booth had.

Book 3- Devil in the White City by Eric Larson. This was a historical book about Daniel H. Burnham- the Director of works for the 1893 Chicago World’s fair AND H.H. Holmes( born Herman Webster Mudgett) the first American serial killer…who ‘worked’ in Chicago during the 1890’s.
I want to start by saying like Team of Rivals, I found Devil in the White City both interesting AND informative. I was amazed at the details of HH Holmes- especially as his ‘body count’ was MUCH higher then Jack the Ripper, yet more is made of Jack. I assume this is because a- Jack seemed to be more flamboyant… and b) the whole mystery angle of ‘who was Jack?’ whereas we know whom HH Holmes was, and the question is merely how many people did he actually kill.
That said- as interesting as HH Holmes, was reading about the 1893 World’s Fair… like learning that the Ferris Wheel, was invented by a Mr. Ferris, debuted at the 1893 World’s fair. I also was amused that Fredrick Olmsted was mentioned- as I know him as the ‘creator’ of Central Park in New York City and the Emerald Necklace in Boston… as well as helping design the White City aka- the Chicago 1893 World’s Fair.

Book 4- The Man from the Diogenes Club by Kim Newman. I say this was an Austin Powers meets John Constantine. Kim Newman mentions in the afterword that he introduced Richard Jeperson( the ‘man’ from the Diogenes Club) for an anthology called Dark Detectives: Adventures of the Supernatural Sleuths as a 70’s supernatural spy… Newman had created Richard Jeperson and his ‘Mrs. Steed’ Vanessa many years ago… but they hadn’t seen print YET.
The book is a collection of short stories (none of which I had read before) about Richard Jeperson- ranging from the truly bizarre of a James Bond type villain who wants to ‘remake the world’ to the macabre with a haunted killer train. I really liked this book and would recommend it.

Gods Behaving Badly by Marie Phillips. Not much to say about this book. I borrowed it from the library, because it LOOKED amusing, but not amusing enough to buy. I’m glad I didn’t buy it as it was a quick read( about a day) and not all that amusing. It was about the Greek Gods, who live in a flat altogether in London. I think the two things that I found the most annoying is the set up that they were the ONLY Gods around (we didn’t hear about any other pantheons) AND that Eros is a Christian. It just bothered me Eros going around wishing he had meet Jesus… and him trying to talk a couple of the other gods to be good Christians.

New Book Review

Been Ages since I did my book reports… *but* wasn’t that great a reader in ’08… I blame facebook, job search, and some other stuff… I might have missed a book or 2 in 08 but want to post this today along with the book I read in 09. I figure with my new job( averaging about 100 pages a day) I’ll get back to the 40 odd books I read in 07.
And as usual- I promise to blog more ;-) This is especially true as I didn’t review some of these books RIGHT AFTER I read them, I just wrote down the names (hence might be missing a book or 2 and the ‘reviews’ might suck a bit)

Book 12- Don Quixote by Cervantes. Ok- first it took me a LONG time to read this book- not just because I paused to read some library books. It was a thousand pages, and dense. It was VERY different from the Musical- the biggest difference is that Don Quixote never actually gets face time with Aldonza / Dulcinea. I also was surprised that there were a lot of stories that Don Quixote ‘heard’ but wasn’t a part of…. Which was another problem I had in getting ‘into’ this book… the fact that Don Quixote kept hearing OTHER people’s stories and their romantic woes.
I liked it- I’m glad I read it… but I don’t think I’ll be reading it again… Meanwhile I have to find MY copy of Man of LaMancha to watch again.
Oh and of course, after finishing Don Quixote I started reading and finishing books left and right to ‘catch up’ to where I SHOOD be.
;-)

Book 13- Soon I will be Invincible by Austin Grossman. I thought this was an interesting book. It was told from two different points of views- alternating chapters between the SUPER VILLAIN of the story, and a noob super heroine who joins the TOP superhero team… to take down the previously mentioned Super Villain.
I found it interesting in how the Super Villain just wanted to be ‘TAKEN SERIOUSLY’ and is peeved that his ‘arch nemesis’ doesn’t

Book 14- The Android’s Dream by John Scalzi
This was given to me by a friend who’s fond of a) detective novels and b) Blade Runner. The title is of course rifting on the title of the book Blade Runner is based on. It was ok… I mean it was based on a simple joke- so it was a nice fluff book.

Book 15- The Blue-Haired Bombshell by John Zakour. This is the latest in a series that includes such books as The Plutonium Blonde, The Doomsday Brunette, The Radioactive Redhead and The Frost-Haired Vixen. What sort of bothered me about this book- is even though it’s part of a ‘series’… for all the other books, you didn’t have to read the PREVIOUS book(s) to understand what was going on… Whereas this book relied heavily on ‘what had gone before’…. And since I hadn’t read the previous books in YEARS, I felt a little lost- and I blame the author for that.
That said- I did enjoy the book. It was a nice science fiction hard boiled detective novel.

Book 16- The Automatic Detective by A. Lee Martinez. Ok this was a GREAT book. It merges the pulp detective novel with the pulp science fiction. Our hero is a robot, a big clunky thing that describes a 50’s world with 50’s science fiction stuff… One of the things that amused me greatly was when he saw his ‘therapist’ and they had a COMPUTER in their home.
;-)

Book 17- The Great Derangement- Matt Taibbi. This was an interesting book… talking about the far left and far right wings of the United States… NOT about the ‘leaders’ so much as the followers. I think he spent more time on the Mega Church goers then the 9/11 conspiracy nuts….But really he gets to the idea, that in this day and age- people are NOT looking to the government for answers. He also points out that no matter WHAT you believe in, you’ll be able to find a group that agrees with you on the internets.

Book 18-Nightlife by Rob Thurman. This was given to me by a friend. I’m sort of on the fence about it( and wish that I had written a review of it AFTER I read it). It’s about a teenager who’s ½ human, ½ Grendel… Grendal being what our main character and his half brother (who’s ALL human) call the monsters from another world. The biggest problem I had was I felt that the ending didn’t resolve what I considered a MAJOR plot thread. Won’t say what it was, as I don’t want to spoil it… but did feel I had to point it out to the friend who gave it to me.

19-The Science Fiction Hall of Fame- Volume II A- This was a really good selection of old/classic Science Fiction short stories. It included Who Goes there( which movie The Thing was based on), The Time Machine- which I felt was worth a re-read, The Folded Hands which I thought was an interesting flip side of the idea of machines ‘helping’ humanity, and the Marching Morons which I thought was a great classic novella that I had NEVER read before.

2009
Book 1- Awesome Comic Fantasy by Various. I read this my first week of work. I found it a sub par collection of short stories. I brought to work because a) I found it on my shelf and b) I figured better to start my job with a collection of short stories that I could put down as needed then a real novel. Put Back that Universe by F Gwynplaine MacIntyre was one of the few stories that I actually enjoyed and might look to see what else the author wrote. And considering there was a story by John Cleese- that’s saying a mouthful. The other story I want to mention was by Cherith Baldry… The story was ok BUT her bio says she’s a librarian and former teacher AND she has written stories about King Arthur… so hoping Adj. can say if Cherith’s books are worth checking out.


Oh and due to the job- have put about 4 books 'on hold' for myself at the BPL. They don't have the books IN- but when they do, I'm on the list.

New Jorb

Ok. I’ve been working there for about a week and I figured it was about time to give a bit of info about it.
Job Title: Security Officer
Location: Downtown Boston. I take the train to and fro work. It’s a nice short commute.
Hours: 3pm to 11pm
Co-Workers: I have 2 regular co-workers; J. whom I relieve at 3pm; and D. who relieves me at 11pm. (more about them a bit later)
Duties: I walk the line… Um. I sit/stand at a security desk for a few hours. The cleaners come, I give them their keys. When they’re done cleaning, I count the keys to make sure they haven’t stolen any. I do a round (or two- wanna be a little vague here.) of the building. I do the round to make sure that there’s nothing burning or leaking or otherwise out of place.
So-
Actual Job: most of my time is me at the security desk doing NOTHING! And hoping to do nothing- which is to say I’m there IN CASE of an emergency- but the company is being preventive… hence the rounds.
So a good chunk of my ‘job’ is sitting/standing at the front of the lobby. I finished a book this week--- first I think of the year—and I think I’ll get a good amount read.

My feelings: Ok, I wish there was a bit more human interaction BUT that said- I prefer this job already to my last full time job at the gift store. I don’t have to deal with LOUD whiny kids. I don’t have to push any products to try and ‘justify’ my salary. I’m allowed to read (so long as it is after hours n’ stuff).
I like the 7am-3pm guy. I think he wants to be my ‘mentor’ or otherwise ‘help’ me. Which is ok, I guess. I prefer him to the 11pm to 7am person. Let’s just say that I can NOT give her the keys, I have to place them on the desk… as well the keys/me are unclean.

I think the job is pretty straight forward. Actually the oddest thing is having not only A weekend- but THE weekend off- I have Saturday and Sunday off… which also means that Wednesday is indeed hump day. After working most my life in retail it’s an odd feeling.
Though then again the flip side is that I work 3pm-11pm- so I go to bed shortly after coming home from work… and will have to figure out what to do with my day BEFORE work( besides skype, facebook and netflix).
Any Questions?

Looking for Work in all the wrong places

So my second day of training at the new job went better- BUT.

I think as I tried to go to sleep yesterday- and it was darn hard to go to sleep (and I woke up WAY too early today), I realized my problem(s)
My main problem- and the one I wanted to blog about is I figured last night- very unscientifically- that out of the 5+ billion people on Earth- there are maybe 1 billion people who have a crappy job for crappy money. Heck 2/3rds most likely have a crappier job then my new one.
Then I figure there’s got to be like a million people who have a job they like and look forward to. Again this is total shot in the dark. But I figure that for every person who likes their job- there’s like a thousand who don’t.
And call me a selfish self centered egoist… BUT I want to BE one of those million people who have a job he likes. I don’t HAVE to be someone who has a GOOD job AND a GOOD paycheck to go with it… ( though that would be ideal), just something that makes me not wake up and go ‘ugh!”

Or to put it another way- it’s sorta hard for me to care that much about life right now if I have a sucky job that doesn’t pay well.

And my last wallowing- is the fact that I spent an hour or two checking about health insurance. See my new job provides health insurance BUT it’s going to go from costing nothing to see my therapist (because I is dirt poor) to $35 a session. I wanted to keep Commonwealth Cares( the state insurance) but have confirmed that if my employer PROVIDES health insurance- I have to take it.

Ok- more perhaps later… just felt I wanted to share… so you all can call me on my wallowing.

Yesterday

Before I talk about my new job…
The usual caveat- I’m not going to name the company I’m working for, or the site that I’m working at.
The reasoning for this is a) have found that employers are in the habit these days of googling prospective employees. And while I doubt this blog can be found… the less ammo I give, the better and b) I did sign a document saying I would NOT bad mouth the company… and so want to cover my butt.

Now that said- I felt the day started out in the hole. I was only hired last week and already I have a ‘history’ with them… that put me in a bad frame of mind when I showed up for work. Last Friday (1/23), I was called as Supervisor P wanted to set up training with me. I told him that I would NOT be able to show up for training as I had to work at the game store. P got angry- pointing that I was starting work on Monday (1/26) so when did I EXPECT to do training. I retorted that I had given the game store TWO WEEKS NOTICE, so I would not start until Monday Feb. 2nd. P then asked me WHOM had I told that I was starting Feb. 2nd? as he seemed convinced that I was starting on the 26th. I told him I told this to the woman who offered me the job (office assistant?) when I was hired. P did NOT take my word for it- but put me on hold and confirmed my story…
I then called P THIS Monday (1/26) to fix a schedule for me to train. P wanted me to come in for an Afternoon training- and I told him the only day I’d be able to do that was yesterday- as that was my day off from the game store- all other nights, I’d have to be at the game store by 6pm. So we agreed Tuesday at 1pm at the company’s office- as I still did NOT know where I would be actually working.

So I’m de-thawing lunch, and am on FB (of course) at 10:45 when I get a call from the security company… A guy there asks me why I’m not at the office as I’m SUPPOSE to be there at 10:30. I tell this person that I was scheduled for 1pm to 4pm. This person, who’s name I forget… then tells me he has to talk to P., I guess to ‘confirm’ my story as P. did. Once my story is confirmed, I’m told to show up at 1pm.
SO- I’m having a melt down. Pure and Simple. I called my step sister because I figured she’d be around and she’d be able to talk me down/have words of wisdom… Ok, will admit I called my therapist first- who wasn’t around… BUT since I had a limited amount of time to ‘cool down’ and figure things out- my sister was as good a resource as any.
She did indeed give me good advice… which included getting P’s email address, which I didn’t realize I had on his card… and making SURE that I didn’t blame anyone for the ‘mix up’
So when I finally see P, I get there before he does, I ask him for his email so this type of mix up doesn’t happen again. As my sister suggested I don’t point fingers, or get angry, I just try to present it as- I’d like your email so I can double check things with you in the future. P sorta admits that it was HIS fault…. And we basically go from there.
I was shown the building I’m going to be guarding… because it’s a) it’s a business and b) I’m the 3pm-11pm shift… I’ll be more of a security guard then a concierge that I thought I might be.
Sadly while I was being given the ‘grand tour’… while I’m trying to keep track of everything… well I was sorta in a bad frame of mind… just being depressed because of the TYPE of job I had.

Anyhoo- things worked out ok… P didn’t blame me for the two mix ups. I still have the job… I have to stay on site for dinner BUT I will be ‘allowed’ to read during the ‘non peak’ hours( 7-11… excluding the two patrols I have to make).
I have a full time job, which in this economy means something…

So yesterday, while I don’t think was too bad from their pov- wasn’t the greatest in mind- BUT I think I just need to get in the right frame of mind and stop wallowing. I also need to stop worrying too much about things- like my sleep schedule… ( afraid that I’m going to wake up at 7am and then have to be up until midnight) and the gym( also not sure I can hit the gym AND then work 8 hours).

I Watch Too Much Television Meme

1. Bold the shows you watch/used to watch regularly.
2. Italicize the shows you've seen at least one episode of.
3. Asterisk the shows you own on DVD (at least one season).
4. Post your answers.



50. Quantum Leap
49. Prison Break
48. Veronica Mars
47. Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
46. Sex & The City
45. *Farscape*
44. Cracker
43. Star Trek (TOS)
42. Only Fools and Horses
41. Band of Brothers
40. *Life on Mars*
39. *Monty Python*
38. Curb Your Enthusiasm
37. Star Trek: The Next Generation
36. Father Ted
35. Alias
34. Frasier
33. CSI Las Vegas
32. *Babylon 5*
31. *Deadwood*
30. *Dexter*
29. ER
28. Fawlty Towers
27. Six Feet Under
26. *Red Dwarf*
25. *Futurama*
24. Twin Peaks
23. The Office
22. The Shield
21. *Angel*
20. *Blackadder*
19. *Scrubs*
18. Arrested Development
17. *South Park*
16. *Dr Who*
15. Heroes
14. *Firefly*
13. Battlestar Galactica
12. Family Guy
11. Seinfeld
10. *Spaced*
09. The X-Files
08. The Wire
07. Friends
06. 24
05. Lost
04. The West Wing
03. The Sopranos
02. *Buffy the Vampire Slayer*
01. The Simpsons

New Job

Ok I started this morning by wanting to write SOMETHING here… and talk about my anxiety about my new job. The fact that I don’t really want it… That the game store is getting to be a MAJOR pain, because it’s hard working for a good friend as your manager (especially when you’re better organized then him) And of course, that I woke up too early this morning- with an upset stomach.

Well after thinking about it- I suck at job searches, it is way too easy for me to get distracted (I’m talking about you- Facebook) and disappointed about either how OVER or UNDER qualified for a job I am.

Yes, I don’t feel a 100% today, yes because of the new job I have 2 six ‘day work weeks… AND not happy that I’ll have to pay more for medical insurance because I’ll HAVE more $ coming in.
BUT
This is a new job. It’s outside of retail- which is perhaps a step in the right direction. It’s a 40 hour a week job AND I was promised that I’d be getting weekends off… which is something nice. AND in this economy- getting a better paying full time job is a good thing.

So I’m going to get some Tums, hope they settle my stomach and TRY to get in a good head space before I have to show up for training at 1pm.