Busy Little B's

B’s

Oh man… It sounded a lot easier when Shrewness put forth the idea of getting someone to give you a letter and blog about it, then actually thinking of B’s for me.

The first B is for Bruce, my Dad. Whether I love him or hate him… he’s left his mark on me as I try to be better then he was.
I know it’s not a B used in scrabble but Bruce has affect my life and thus is a B in my life

B is for books. Of which I love. I read them all the time. I can’t commute without my books.

B is for butterfingers. As a kid I was quite awkward. I often dropped things or walked into walls.

B is for bitchy. As I get older, I’ve gotten a lot more bitchy. I’m able to go from sleepy to bitchy with one sound byte of Bill O’Rielly.

B is for Bed. I love my bed. I don’t sleep as much as I’d like these days, but at the end of the day MY bed is all comfy, cozy and waiting for me.

B is for Beta Male. You’ve heard of Alpha Males, well I a Beta. I’ve never been a leader but I make a good follower slash team player.

B is for Bored. I find my job incredibly boring and mind numbing.

B is for biliotek- which is French for Library, where I wish I worked. (See b for books).

B is for Bachelor- I haven’t dated in ages and being a short Beta male, am likely to remain a bachelor until my end of days. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

B is for Body Image. For most of my life, I’ve had a crappy body image as I’m short and have been fat for most of my life- while my brothers are taller then me and in better shape.

And a bonus B is for Brownie, as in Eat the Brownie!

Huh?

So about a week after my b'day, my younger brother calls and emails me today. I was doing errands so missed his call.

He told me that he was going to make me an usher, which I didn't find that surprising as we are family and that's something you're supposed to get family to do. I was surprised when my mom told me that my dad was going to be Pete's best man... and shook my head when she implied it was some sort of Christian thing for him to do that( so Christians out there.... please by all means let me know my mom's ignorant).
What however blew me away is he asked for my middle name.
He wanted to put my name on like the invites and he didn’t know my name.

I’m like wtf? I know his middle name, our older brother’s middle name… both of my parents middle names, my step siblings middle names and my nephew’s middle name. Granted I don’t know the middle names of my father’s second and third wife, my step father’s or my step sister’s/ nephew’s dad’s middle name but I think I got the majors.

How can he not know my middle name?

Today

Two thoughts kept going through my head today at work.
[Eat the brownies]
It was a long day due to the lack business, as people were doing OTHER stuff for the holiday then visiting a museum.
[Eat the brownies]
The first thought occurred when I was watching a co-worker do a task. The task was a mindless, repetitive task of cutting open tiny bags that key chains were shipped in.
[Eat the brownies]
And I asked him… Isn’t it good to feel vital?
I was being snide and I apologized within seconds.
[Eat the brownies]
But at the same time, I was serious. My job is Retail Hell. I do the same job day in, day out; week in, week out; month in, month out… ad infinitum. I went back to school because I wanted
[Eat the brownies]
I wanted to HELP someone. I wanted to feel at the end of the day I touched a live or two. I made someone’s life a little easier or helped them to learn something they didn’t know at the beginning of the day.
[Eat the brownies]
Instead I’ve spent the last 6 years or so in Retail HELL. I mean how hard should it be to get a job in my field???
I've spent more time trying to get a job in Library Science then I did GETTING the degree. And I think every day/month/year that I don't have a library job makes me that much more of a loser.

And then in the background as I tried to go about my day was a voice in the back of my head
[Eat the brownies]
And the voice… of course, kept saying
Eat the brownies
See I’m getting up WAY too early today and…
[Eat the brownies]
I saw Reefer Madness: the Musical. It is one of the funniest darn movies, I’ve seen in ages… and one of the songs was… “Eat the brownies”

I also liked the Listen to Jesus song but it didn’t stick in my head like [Eat the brownies],I guess because while Listen to Jesus had a bunch of good lines- like “Stop indulging like a Roman!” and (Listen to Jesus, Jimmy!) I'm the poster boy for Easter); It didn’t have the repeated refrain [Eat the brownies]. Heck I called the friend who lent me the dvd( as I was bored) and told him [Eat the brownies]. He told me that he’d burn me a copy of the soundtrack.

pack o' tests

So I was bored and tired at lunch today and ended up taking WAY TOO MANY tests.

You Are Catwoman

"Life's a bitch. Now so am I."

What Superheroine Are You?

You Are 40% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird... But too damn weird to do anything about it!

How Weird Are You?

Your Elf Name Is...

Flakey Stocking Stuffer

What's Your Elf Name?

Your Job Dissatisfaction Level is 80%

Your job is a total bummer, and probably the worst job you've ever had. Your co-workers stink. Your boss is a jerk. And your company is probably in trouble. Think about finding a new job quickly, even if it's just a not-so-great transition job. You've got to get out of there as quickly as you can!

Should You Quit Your Job?

The Movie Of Your Life Is Film Noir

So what if you're a little nihilistic at times? Life with meaning is highly over-rated. Your best movie matches: Sin City, L. A. Confidential, Blade Runner

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

Your Blogging Type Is Thoughtful and Considerate

You're a well liked, though underrated, blogger. You have a heart of gold, and are likely to blog for a cause. You're a peaceful blogger - no drama for you! A good listener and friend, you tend to leave thoughtful comments for others.

What's Your Blogging Personality?

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"So, you're a cannibal."

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

Your Scholastic Strength Is Deep Thinking

You aren't afraid to delve head first into a difficult subject, with mastery as your goal. You are talented at adapting, motivating others, managing resources, and analyzing risk. You should major in: Philosophy Music Theology Art History Foreign language

What Should You Major In?

Your Superhero Profile

Your Superhero Name is The Purple Walker Your Superpower is Psychic Your Weakness is Fish Your Weapon is Your Solar Bullets Your Mode of Transportation is Cable

What's your Superhero Name?

Crapfest

I think there’s trouble brewing at work. I intend to try and take the smart tack tomorrow; keep my head down, do my job and be thankful that my shift mirrors my manager’s- I open, he closes and thus I have less time to catch crap.

Technically I shouldn’t catch any crap. From my pov, I should be praised and hailed as a ‘team player’, but with lowered expectations I’ll settle for not catching crap.

The facts, as I currently know them and in their historical order:
A ‘sales supervisor’ left the store at about 6 pm. with a couple of other co-workers. I put s.s. in quote marks as the store doesn’t have official titles for the two females who I’m going to call sales supervisor… they simply are workers PLUS, no title but expected to do more like helping to manage/ open the store. The first supervisor, as said, was leaving with a couple of others. The group was chatting and swearing up a storm. I told the ‘supervisor’ that I watch my swearing. I don’t swear because, quite frankly, when I’m mad I want people to notice. If I swore often people wouldn’t notice another f’word, but if I don’t use the words all that often- it becomes the F-bomb and people know when they’ve crossed the line.
A customer heard all of this and went to the museum information desk. She complained about my co-workers cursing and lack of professionalism and the Info Desk wanted the manager to talk to her. I answered the phone because the second ‘sales supervisor’ has a thing with phones. I was told by the Info Desk that they had a customer that wanted to talk to the manager. I told them that the Manager was gone but I would send the Ass’t Manager there asap. I then was told by the ‘supervisor’ that the Ass’t Manager was in the bathroom. I looked at the ‘supervisor’, and told her someone had to go to the Info Desk ASAP. She countered that she wasn’t in the proper outfit- we’re suppose to wear a polo and she was wearing a t-shirt. I rolled my eyes. I told her every moment we ignored her, the irate customer would become more irate and SOMEONE had to go talk to her. So I seemed to be elected to go. I went out there and immediately apologized for everything. I didn’t know what she had a problem with, but said I was sorry. I told her that my Ass’t Manager would be out soon. I didn’t mention that she was in the bathroom, just that she was busy and would be out soon. She seemed mollified and thus I went back to the store and let people know what was what.
See, I work for the gift shop and the gift shop works for the museum… so the customer by taking it to the museum info desk instead of my Ass’t manager brought all sorts of crap to the table…. What happens is she complains to the museum, who then complain to my boss and perhaps it has to go UP the ladder to the district or regional manager as they need to know how we get along with the museum.

What the Ass’t manager did tonight is sent home most of my co workers home, as the customer complained about them and they were goofing off. She told me that the customer spoke well of me; so I’m keeping my fingers crossed that none of this crap gets on me…. But again the museum talked to him and thus he’s not going to be annoyed. So I’m hoping just not to get any on me…
But at the same time I told the Ass’t Manager that I felt part of the problem was that we had too many teenagers working at the store. Once you have more then two teenagers working at the same time- the chances for them to goof off go up exponentially.

Pimpin'

Totally forgot...

If you want to send me a BELATED b'day present( and I know you do ;-) ) my amazon wish list is here.


*chuckle* felt a need to share.

Meduim

Well I found something surprising on my visit to my mom. On the one hand it’s like good news but on the other hand she was annoying in nailing the point home (as she is want to do).
The majority of my shirts are large, as that’s what I’ve worn for the majority of my life. I will admit that before I started losing weight- at about 201, I was leaning towards buying extra larges. However on Monday, when I put on a short sleeve button up shirt to go suit shopping I started hearing it from my mom… and I heard it all day. First she complained that she didn’t like my shirt, and thus I should take it off, and then she complained that it was MUCH too baggy. I took it off but told her I only bought soo many shirts so if I didn’t wear the shirt on Monday, there was a good chance that I would wear it on Tuesday. Then when I put on a polo shirt, one that I was pretty sure I wore in front of her before, but she didn’t like it and complained that it was too big- for most of the day.
So yesterday at work, after we closed I asked a female co-worker (manager who I liked) about the shirt I wore. I told her that my mother felt I had shrunk out of my shirts due to my diet. I told her that as a guy, I just thought my shirts were now ‘baggy’ or ‘more roomy’ and didn’t think much of it, as unlike getting bigger my shirts still fit. I did however pick up my arms, tell her the shirt I was wearing was a large and ask her if she felt a large fit or if I should go down a size. She quite emphatically told me that I should get a smaller size, and then tempered it with a, where do you shop? Indicating that I should check the shirt out before I buy- which I thought was quite reasonable, esp. as my mom had suggested that I shop on line and I think it better if I start shopping in person- just in case.

Then there was the OTHER problem blush Up until now I wore my pants UNDER my belly, as I had a pretty big one. My mom wanted me to pull my pants up and wear them ‘normally’, which meant pulling my drawers up in the dressing room. We wasted about an hour until she realized the reason that the first suit (which we both liked) wasn’t fitting properly is because I wasn’t wearing the right underwear. About a month ago I bought a bunch of large drawers because I was at the tail end of the large, however I’m now a medium and the large material seems to be bunching up. So even though I just bought a bunch of large underwear (about a month ago when I was on the fence about pants size) I have to go to the mall in the next couple of days and re-buy underwear. The worst part is the stuff I’ve barely worn has to be thrown out or something as it’s not like I can give underwear to the Salvation Army.

B'day doings....

I was gone for a day or two as I went to NYC to celebrate my birthday with my ma and her side of the family (her husband, her husband’s daughter, her son and husband). I wish to blog here about our conversations about my dad, whom I did NOT see while I was in the city…. But I plan to do that on Friday.

Tonight I merely want to mention my well wishers. On Sunday, Evan personally wished me a happy one. Likewise an old friend saw me off to NYC with a beer in my belly and Firefly now in my DVD collection.
On Monday- the day of days, as mentioned I had a meal with my mom’s side of the family and got a couple presents from my step father( in the shadow of no towers by art speigleman and ego and hubris by the American Splendor guy). I also had several mailings from various websites saying ‘happy birthday’.
Today, Tuesday, I called my voice mail while in NYC and found messages from a causal friend, a co worker( whom I’m going to overlook the fact that I didn’t give her my phone number) and my older brother. My mother was surprised that my older brother didn’t call me at her house, but was more surprised that my dad didn’t call.

Now I didn’t tell my dad I was going to be in NYC, so theoretically, if called he’d do it at my home number… but no message from him or my younger brother. Now they’ve forgotten my birthdays in the past so I told my mother that it didn’t surprise me. Actually the most vexing was one year my father called me telling me that he was calling because quote my mom told me it was your birthday unquote, and then less then a month later he felt he needed to remind me about my younger brother’s b’day. I let him have it that year, pointing out that I remembered Pete’s (younger bro) b’day but it didn’t seem that either of them had remembered mine. Hmmm, I wonder who his favorite son is.
Right now it’s sort of enough that even with not talking to him and dissing his current wife, he gave me money to go to Amsterdam.
Yes, I’d like recognition/ a birthday card. Heck, I’d like him to thank me for the adult e-cards I send him every year for HIS birthday… but at this point I’d rather accept my dad for who he is (or not deal with him because of who he is) then expect him to behave the way I feel he should behave( like sending his son a birthday card).

Oh and to end on a positive note. Was happy that evan wished me a happy birthday on Monday on his blog. I just didn’t see it until I got home as I make it a point of not visiting anything that can lead back to this blog while I’m at my mom’s.

Funniest damn post...

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Drew!

1. Drew can grow up to three feet in a 24 hour period!
2. Dolphins sleep at night just below the surface of Drew, and frequently rise to the surface for air!
3. Astronauts get taller when they are in Drew.
Ok, that's just a DAMN rumor and hasn't been proven.
4. In Eastern Africa you can buy beer brewed from Drew!
5. The state nickname of Iowa is 'The Drew state'.
6. Humans share over 98 percent of their DNA with Drew!
7. Over 2000 people have now climbed Drew, with roughly ten percent dying on the way down!
Now that has been proven. And all died with a smile on their faces.
8. Grapes explode if you put them inside Drew.
I think that was the cause of at least one of the climber's death.
9. By tradition, a girl standing under Drew cannot refuse to be kissed by anyone who claims the privilege!
10. Drew can give birth ten days after being born, and is born pregnant.

I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem

Geek High

I was looking at a Superman comic on the stand a couple of weeks ago, when I had one of my more geeky moments. I was flipping through the comic because Superman has lost his powers AGAIN and I was quasi interested into how he got his power back… this time. In this comic there was a scene where Clark and Lois are at a hockey game and Lois is totally into it, and Clark is reading a book.
Now me being a BOOK geek as well as a comic book geek, I had to look to see what Clark was reading Jennifer Government by Max Barry. My first thought was that Clark had good taste but was a bit behind… as Max Barry’s latest book was Company. Then I took a mental step back and wondered whether it was the writer or editor who had read, and liked Jennifer Government. Finally I realized what a GEEK I was for checking out what Clark was read.

That said, I would highly recommend Jennifer Government and Company. I thought Jennifer Government was an interesting mix of Aussie goodness (as Barry is Australian) and American GREED, as the story happens in Australia but is about the evils of American Corporations( in the future…). Likewise Company is a bloody funny book about the current office dynamics of management vs. employees.
And everyone knows that Clark Kent has excellent taste in books
;-)

New Meme....

Found this on a blog of a new bloggish friend( Hi Shrewness!)

I AM: What I am… No more, no less.
I SAID: I wanted to get out of retail, and yet here I am working retail…. still and again.
I WANT: To be happy.
I WISH: I had a job I liked.
I HATE: George W. Bush. I mean I really hate him.
I MISS: my sense of optimism.
I FEAR: the Neo Cons and what they are doing to America.
I HEAR: The NSA on the other end of my phone….
I WONDER: If America and the world can recover from the Bush presidency.
I REGRET: Way too many things. Many of which, most likely, nobody else remembers
I AM NOT: as good as I want to be.
I DANCE: NOT!
I SING: Often and Off Key.
I CRY: Never. I get Feclept, but never cry.
I AM NOT ALWAYS: as good as I’d like to be.
I MADE: a mess of my apartment.
I WRITE: a lot of crap here.
I CONFUSE: myself often.
I NEED: to learn to let go of emotional baggage.
I SHOULD: be looking for a REAL job now.
I START: way too early these days.
I FINISH: Not as much as I start.
I TAG: Whoever wants to do this, as usual I don't want to tag somebody who doesn't want to do it.

Glass 1/2 Near

I am near sighted. I accepted this fact a few years ago when I took a learner’s permit test and failed the eye test. I was told at that time that I had 20/30 eye sight. I didn’t think that was bad, as I didn’t NEED glasses for driving--- but would at a later date.
Last week I was told, even though I don’t drive, that that later date was NOW, that my far vision had gone down to 40 and I NEEDED glasses. So I ordered a pair of glasses.

Then as I posted on Thursday, I tried wearing my glasses at work and failed. The world became a much more blurry place to live in… and I took the glasses off.

So I told my manager on Thursday, as I left, that odds are I would be late Friday. As far as I’m concerned, my health trumps work every day of the week. So I got up early on Friday and went to the eye doctor. I waited about an hour to see her- and kept my manager in the loop.
When I saw her, I realized that I was too tired and peeved to explain things properly to her. On Tuesday I saw just fine, on Thursday after glasses, not so much. I did however have a light bulb moment as it went on… and I wasn’t too happy with her and the eye store connected to her ‘office’.

Yeah- see the eye doctor’s office is connected the lens store. And that I think is the lesson I truly learnt on Friday.

I don’t NEED glasses. Yeah, I’m near sighted, but I’m a near sighted man in a near world. The previous mentioned light bulb moment was me explaining to her that I NEED to see a foot away from me to count money in the register, a foot and ½ away to read the register screen and 3 feet away from me to talk to the customer. I do not have to see 20 feet away from me to read product… because if I need to read a box 20 feet away I can walk 19 feet.

So I’m back where I was a few years ago when I heard I had 20/30 eyesight. Glasses might help me a bit, but I don’t really need them for my normal life.
Well, save for the fact that I spent about $150 of MY OWN money for glasses that I only need on my days off. And I'm not sure that I trust the doc, as I'm not sure how well she actually listened to me and how much was her trying to sell me a pair of glasses... which I might or might not need.

Didn't last the day

Well the glasses didn’t last the day.

I put them on first thing in the morning, taking them off to shower and shave. I put them on for work…
And had problems at work… I had mostly blurred vision, with a bit of double vision. It was suggested that I take them off for lunch, which I did. I then had problems with focusing. It seemed that when I had to look near my eyes would have to adjust, then again when I looked far away.

Since I’m new to the glasses, I didn’t bring the case- so a) they almost got damaged when I put them in a cubby hole. See we have unassigned wooden cubby holes in the back of the store. I often think that people leave their stuff in them for days, which results in not enough cubby holes for everyone there that day. So I left my glasses in my cubby hole, and someone ELSE shoved their bag in there… knocking my glasses down. Fortunately they were just dirtied… and b) I ended up having to wear them home because I didn’t want the glasses to get scratched or damaged in my bag.

I plan to wake up early tomorrow to talk to the people who made the glasses. I think they might be a bit too strong… I know it might be that I have to get used to them… but right now my eyesight seems MORE screwed up due to my glasses, not less.

Thanks for all the support here for me WITH GLASSES. Hopefully I'll get this situation fixed so I can see well soon.

Geek with Glasses

Yeah.

I'm now one of the millions of FANBOYS with GLASSES.

New Quiz Time

You Are More Mild Than Wild

You're confident, and you really aren't concerned with how "hot" you are. Other people's ideas of what's sexy don't concern you. And this is exactly what makes you attractive.

Are You Hot?

WoW.,.. Geek Terror

been a while since I got a terror alert level... BUT I found a new one today so...

Geek Terror

J-Date

Now that I’ve lost weight, my mother wants me to start dating. I guess she figures now that I look ‘acceptable’, I can get a woman and start producing grandkids for her. Go Fig.
However what I’ve found funny is that she’s been suggesting I go to J-List, to find a JEWESS to date. So it’s not enough that I date, but she wants me to date a nice Jewish girl.
It gets funnier as I told my friends that my mom wanted me to go to J-list… and see the reason that I called this blog J-Date and not J-List is because my friends were right about what J-List is. J-list is a site for an Anime Porn company… J-Date is the site for the Jewish hook ups.
Now personally I don’t really want to go to J-Date because my Jewishness is pretty low end. I go to Temple maybe once a year, with my mom. I don’t keep Kosher (though I don’t eat pork), and have been told that my mom draws the line at keeping a Kosher household for me…. So I’m more concerned with a lax belief system then a Jewish one, because I don’t see myself going to a house of worship once a week regardless of if it’s a synagogue or a church or mosque.
Plus right now… still want to improve myself before I go searching for someone. I.E. I don’t think many gals would find a retail wage slave a good match.

Eye See

Well considering my last post, I don’t think it’s really a surprise… I need glasses. I scored a 20/40, near sighted. Naturally I see better nearer to me, because I read a lot and if I was far sighted I would’ve realized it and needed glasses a while ago. As it is, I was told by the doctor that IF I drove, by law, I’d be required to wear glasses.
So I ordered a pair of glasses today. I’ll get them next week and plan to post a picture here of me with them.
Be nice. This is the first time I’ve bought glasses so I tried to pick a neutral (gun metal) color so that they will go with all my outfits.

I also forgot to get my prescription, which I plan to do when I get my glasses. My insurance only covers 1 pair of glasses every two years, so for a second pair I want to shop around( and maybe ask my mom to get me a pair for my b’day). I figure it's sop to get a second pair, esp. as I plan to travel this Summer and wouldn't want to destroy my one and only pair on the plane.

Glasses

So tomorrow I’m going to an eye doctor to get my eyes examined. Not looking forward to it. I think I need glasses, but I don’t really WANT glasses.
My father and mother wore glasses when they were pretty young, my older brother started ages ago… and if I drove I’d probably be wearing glasses already as last time I had my eyes checked I was a tad near sighted( 20/30).

I just hate/ get depressed by everything that reminds me that I’m getting older and am still not working in an environment that makes me feel comfortable growing old in. Retail sucks, and every year that I do it I get a bit crankier and a bit more depressed.

I know I’m not getting contacts as I’m too clumsy for them… I’d probably wind taking my eye out or going through five in my first month.

Today I’m tired, a tad hung over, and feeling old.