5 year; 4,000 American Deaths.

Ok, I haven’t been blogging that much recently due to job search, cleaning, what little work I get at the game store- and of course facebook’s superhero app.
BUT, I do think I need to blog about the fact that in the past couple of weeks the United States reached TWO milestones in Iraq- the death of the 4,000th soldier and the 5 year of our ‘occupation’.
The first thing I feel I should mention is that I have decided that W. has got his wargasm on. Bush WANTED to be a war time president. He thinks the war in Iraq is a success because HE got what he wanted from it. I am convinced that W. ‘perfect moment’ was landing on an aircraft carrier in a flight suit, having the mission accomplished sign behind him, and a whole bunch of soldiers saluting him.
My reasoning is that W is NOT concerned with the actual POWER of being president- making Cheney his “co’ president, and more power then any other vice president. W. also is willing to surround himself with people who are not good at their job, but who are loyal to him. To me the perfect example of loyalty v. job is Condi Rice… She was in CHARGE of our defense. We were attacked on the watch of the Bush administration… and not only did she NOT lose her job for not acting on the report “Bin Laden determined to attack the U.S.’ but she got a promotion… and I’ve heard several people float the idea that she would be the PERFECT vice president for McSame if Obama got the nomination.
Which brings me to the next point…. Bin Laden is still out there. The United States has the biggest most bloated military budget of ANY country. After ‘winning’ the Cold War by outspending the Soviet Union, the military budget was not shrunk one dollar. How can we have the biggest and best military and not be able to find ONE MAN- who by the way is on dialysis, so should be a bit EASIER to find. The only conclusion I can find- and W. has let slip a couple of times, is that he doesn’t care about getting Bin Laden. To get his wargasm on, W. was more concerned with getting rid of Saddam… because much of W.’s presidency has been about showing that he’s more successful then his dad- by winning his second term and toppling Saddam.
Which brings me to the quotes from W.’s wife and Co-President who have BOTH stated that no one suffers more then W. because of this war… Heavy is the crown and all that. It’s sooo hard for W. to send our soldiers into harm’s way. Which I think has been proven to be TOTAL B.S. I write Total B.S. because our government and their sycophants have declared it unpatriotic to LIST the names of those brave men and women who have died in Iraq or allow the pictures of the COFFINS. Also I feel that if W. was truly sorry about their loss- he would’ve met with Cindy Shehann- but he didn’t because SHE was not a perfect gold star mom.
That leads to THE gold star moms who are FOR the war- because they have swallowed and regurgitate the line that ‘if we leave NOW, all of the deaths would be in vain’. I’m sorry but you don’t get my sympathy if you want to subject another parent to the same loss YOU’VE suffered just to make you feel better about YOUR loss.
Which leads me into Lyndie England. Man, I feel no post about Iraq can NOT mention her. She tortured and degraded Iraqis. At her trial she used as a defense, please go easy on me- I’m going to be a mother. The father of her baby is her C.O. who also was involved in the torture. And earlier this year, instead of blaming the chain of command( where NO officers were punished for the abuses of abu graib) she blamed the MEDIA for reporting on the abuses… Her reasoning was that IF it wasn’t reported that she and others tortured Iraqis, then the Iraqis wouldn’t have known about the torture AND wouldn’t be trying to kill us as much--- So the fault lies not with her, her kid’s father, or even the president BUT with that darn liberal media.
And I do think the media is a bit to blame- not for reporting about the abuses in Iraq but for NOT reporting about Iraq enough. I think the fact that we are war should mean a couple of minutes of ANY news show should be about the war and how it affects everything else. Like the fact that the economy is going into the crapper AND we are spending TRILLIONS in Iraq, that would be better spent here in the United States. Or the fact that gas prices have sky rocketed making EVERYTHING more expensive, while our government does nothing to help us kick the oil habit.
Ok- that’s it for now- as I told my younger brother I’m TRYING HARD not to get too angry over what I can’t change… But again I feel the milestones of 5 years and 4,000 dead American soldiers are worth getting pissed about…
But the so is the 85-90,000 Iraqi dead due to Iraq Body count… and as also alluded to, the dollar cost to the war- which has gotten to OVER $500 BILLION dollars and like the body counts- is still rising.

What The America???!!!???

Ok I read this story the other day and really I'm not sure what to say about it.

The idea of CARDING someone just because they speak spanish? Really is that what we've come to?
There is SO much I feel that needs to be said- ranging from: having worked retail, I'd take ANYONE'S money; to if someone treated ME that way, I'd take my business elsewhere.
But really I feel this is a WTF moment.

That a guy feels that he has the RIGHT to card other people because he's 'afriad' that they MIGHT be 'illegally' here. And this person doesn't even live in what I would describe as a 'border state'
This is what the repug fear mongering has come to. Makes me sick to be an American.

No Money from Dad

So as usual, I was biting my nails waiting for my dad’s response to my letter. I told him that I wasn’t going to accept his money with strings attached and I really feared that I’d get a phone call from my mom telling me that’s she talked to my dad and a) I should just take his damn money and b) she ‘can’t deal with me by herself’.
When I finally got my dad’s response it had this gem in it:

All the money I get has conditions attached to it and I don't think about it as jumping through hoops, I think of it as working for what I receive.

And I have to say, the first thing I thought of was: when he gives his wife $100 for shoes- what WORK has she done for that money/ what were the conditions attached to that money?
Obviously I don’t think I can tell him that thought without getting in trouble.

I’m trying to decide if this is insight into how my dad thinks- or just B.S.
Does he really think that EVERYBODY has to work for what they receive?

Dad rant

I’m not sure which I’m more sorry about- that I haven’t blogged for a while or that as usual it’s turned into a screed against my father.

The reasons for not blogging are: trying to clean my apartment, trying to look for a part time job, getting help from adj. so that I can try to volunteer at a library, being KICKASS on facebook’s Superheroes, and trying to balance my time so I also enjoy myself.
(and in fact I started multitasking and started playing superheroes before deciding that I’d rather focus on writing this)

The ‘trouble’ started last week- which almost lead to a melt down because of a conversation with my dad and mom. I asked my dad for money for a bill- and I ended up double dipping… asking BOTH my parents to cover the same bill. I felt quisi justified in doing this at first because my father had yet to help me with any bills this year- and as far as I’m concerned, he’s loaded. My father as soon as I mentioned I needed started complaining about his taxes, and HIS money woes. I found out later that he called my mom to hit HER up for some of the money and thus found out about my double billing.
We also got into an argument about my cleaning my apartment. My dad wanted me to promise to clean my apartment like a ½ hour every day. I told him that while I was cleaning my apartment that I didn’t want to COMMIT to an arbitrary amount of time because then I would feel PRESSURE to do it- and would feel bad if I wasn’t able to do the ½ hour for one reason or another. He, of course, did not understand my desire to have LESS pressure in my life…
So I then ended up with MORE pressure from my mom… She tried telling me that it was important to HER for me to have a relationship with my dad. I marveled at the three bits of irony involved with her argument… The first was the obvious she wants ME to talk to my dad- even though SHE doesn’t like him or wants to talk to him herself. The second was the reasoning she gave me was that eventually my father would die, and I’d want to make peace with him before then. I did call her on this irony, as my father for years had been complaining that he was ‘going to die in a few years’… heck he said this as he left her 30 odd years ago. The third bit of irony was the fact that she wanted me to ‘let go’ of some of my dad’s shannagins because those were years ago- nevermind that she holds grudges/ slights against HER forever.
So I had to deal with THAT crap last week. And I thought I dealt with it pretty well…. I even sent my dad an email apologizing for ‘double billing’ and said that I wouldn’t do it again.

Of course, feeling good means that another shoe has to drop- in this case a letter from my dad. My father sent me a letter on Saturday- which I didn’t read until last night( I guess I was too busy working and facebook). He says that he’s going to send me the bulk of the money he’d said he’d sent BUT that a portion of the money is being withheld. He explains the withholding that a) he is strapped for cash and b) he wants me to PROMISE him that I will spend a ½ hour every day cleaning. Now nevermind that I told him in our conversation on Wednesday that I didn’t want to set up arbitrary goals… I got pissed that he was setting up ‘conditions’ for him to help me.
Actually what really pissed me off was this bit from his letter:

Maybe cleaning your apartment has taken on an even greater importance than normal, but it seems to be a very real indication of your commitment to addressing your ciracumstances. And since it hasn't happened yet, it's hard for us to feel that you are truly committed to turning your life around. I am sure that you can spare a half hour a day to making this happen.

I just got SOOO pissed at the idea that he feels I have to ‘prove’ to him that I am committed to turning my life around.
And I’m going to stop here. There was more to his letter- about how I should look for a part time job because I basically can’t depend on him to help pay my bills… but really the sticking point is that he wants PROOF that I’m trying to turn my life around. Way to be sportive.
I’ve told him that I don’t want his money and will figure out a way to pay my bills… because really I’d rather get off my butt and put things up on ebay- or go into debt(which I don't think will happen- but I'm saying.,..) if need be than jump through HIS hoops.