Reverse Flu...
I don't know where I read it( because I read alot) but I remember reading once of the "reverse flu" where one feels good for no damn good reason.
I felt good when I got off the train for no darn reason.
My mood was ok, until I got home... and I read Evan's blog.
It's funny but trying to figure out why I was in a good mood dispelled said mood.
Because in my life, all of my 'fun' is escapism.
I was envious of a regular at the game store on Sunday because he's going to London... Nevermind the fact that I went to A'dam in July. Going to Amsterdam was great but a) it feels like it was ages ago... and b) on some level I feel it was a fluke because *I* couldn't afford to go to Amsterdam by myself.
Approaching 40- my life is a sham. None of my accomplishments... are accomplishments because my degrees and my weight loss mean nothing. My manager has a high school diploma, makes more then me and is dining out with his boss and fellow managers... and I'm here in my apartment, watching heroes and for my day off- I'm going by myself to the movies- because I work retail and so I have NO F'ING real weekend.
I felt good when I got off the train for no darn reason.
My mood was ok, until I got home... and I read Evan's blog.
It's funny but trying to figure out why I was in a good mood dispelled said mood.
Because in my life, all of my 'fun' is escapism.
I was envious of a regular at the game store on Sunday because he's going to London... Nevermind the fact that I went to A'dam in July. Going to Amsterdam was great but a) it feels like it was ages ago... and b) on some level I feel it was a fluke because *I* couldn't afford to go to Amsterdam by myself.
Approaching 40- my life is a sham. None of my accomplishments... are accomplishments because my degrees and my weight loss mean nothing. My manager has a high school diploma, makes more then me and is dining out with his boss and fellow managers... and I'm here in my apartment, watching heroes and for my day off- I'm going by myself to the movies- because I work retail and so I have NO F'ING real weekend.
2 Comments:
At 11/29/2006 11:59:00 AM,
Unknown said…
Man...
1. I'm really sorry my mood coloured yours.
2. You know I'm always here for you as well.
I commisserate on the life suckage.
At 11/30/2006 08:42:00 PM,
Drew said…
not your fault... that's the problem with the reverse flu- the good mood can't be stastained(sp) because sooner or later you're reminded that you're happy for no good reason and then you start being NOT happy again.
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