Yom Kippur
Ok, as I get ready for my fasting, many thoughts have gone through my mind. But it bols down to WHY am I doing this?
I mean I know the basic why- it’s Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Atonement and one atones for one’s sins by fasting and apologizing to God for their sins. One of the reasons you do this, besides it’s a nice thing to do, is that at the beginning of the New Year- God takes out his day planner and starts writing everything that’s suppose to happen for the New Year. It’s HOPED that apologizing for all the bad stuff you did last year, God will cut you some slack and give you some good stuff this New Year.
That’s the basics behind this holiday- what I’m wondering is why I do it.
For the record, as my brain was in neutral yesterday- I figured I had broken 4 of the 10 commandments- and as I write this I realize that depending on stuff in Amsterdam- maybe 5. I do not consider myself a bad person, but year in and year out I break 3 commandments- I lie (though not sure if means I ‘bear false witness’), not to harm others but to ‘grease the wheels’ and make life easier; since I work retail it’s sort of hard not to work the Sabbath; and hey I’m a guy so of course I covet. I told my fellow Jewish co worker about the 3, and how I usually break them. Felt a tad more embarrassed telling her I had “lust in my heart” but basically was painting a picture, as I’m trying to here- that I’m basically a nice guy even if a lust a little, lie a little, and yeah that 4th- I have taken a couple of damaged items home, and candy, and thus have stolen. I’m not proud of it, and don’t do it on a regular basis (have never stolen from the game store)…
But again on the whole I consider myself a good person and so wonder why I put myself through a day of fasting and NO electronics: don’t use phone, tv or computer on Yom Kippur as that just makes the fast too easy.
And this gets to the real point I wonder why I do this because I’m an agnostic. I’d like to believe in God, but I find the argument for there NOT being a God much more persuasive than any argument pro God. I think the only reason I’m not an atheist is because on some level I’d like W. to be punished for the evil he has done, and me rewarded for the good I’ve done. Am I as good as W. is evil- very doubtful, but this is the reason I like My Name is Earl- because on Earl, people usually get what’s coming to them.
So I’m fasting on Sunday Sunset to Monday Sunset. I’ll apologize for the stealing, and maybe a tad for the lust, but I don’t apologize for not getting to temple more often because I find organized religion to be part of the problem of believing in God. I’ll try to clean my body and mind on my own way.
I mean I know the basic why- it’s Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Atonement and one atones for one’s sins by fasting and apologizing to God for their sins. One of the reasons you do this, besides it’s a nice thing to do, is that at the beginning of the New Year- God takes out his day planner and starts writing everything that’s suppose to happen for the New Year. It’s HOPED that apologizing for all the bad stuff you did last year, God will cut you some slack and give you some good stuff this New Year.
That’s the basics behind this holiday- what I’m wondering is why I do it.
For the record, as my brain was in neutral yesterday- I figured I had broken 4 of the 10 commandments- and as I write this I realize that depending on stuff in Amsterdam- maybe 5. I do not consider myself a bad person, but year in and year out I break 3 commandments- I lie (though not sure if means I ‘bear false witness’), not to harm others but to ‘grease the wheels’ and make life easier; since I work retail it’s sort of hard not to work the Sabbath; and hey I’m a guy so of course I covet. I told my fellow Jewish co worker about the 3, and how I usually break them. Felt a tad more embarrassed telling her I had “lust in my heart” but basically was painting a picture, as I’m trying to here- that I’m basically a nice guy even if a lust a little, lie a little, and yeah that 4th- I have taken a couple of damaged items home, and candy, and thus have stolen. I’m not proud of it, and don’t do it on a regular basis (have never stolen from the game store)…
But again on the whole I consider myself a good person and so wonder why I put myself through a day of fasting and NO electronics: don’t use phone, tv or computer on Yom Kippur as that just makes the fast too easy.
And this gets to the real point I wonder why I do this because I’m an agnostic. I’d like to believe in God, but I find the argument for there NOT being a God much more persuasive than any argument pro God. I think the only reason I’m not an atheist is because on some level I’d like W. to be punished for the evil he has done, and me rewarded for the good I’ve done. Am I as good as W. is evil- very doubtful, but this is the reason I like My Name is Earl- because on Earl, people usually get what’s coming to them.
So I’m fasting on Sunday Sunset to Monday Sunset. I’ll apologize for the stealing, and maybe a tad for the lust, but I don’t apologize for not getting to temple more often because I find organized religion to be part of the problem of believing in God. I’ll try to clean my body and mind on my own way.
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