The realness of Evan.
I’ve been meaning to blog about this for some time, heck three times I felt I reached the tipping point in the past month or so but still I didn’t get around to blogging about it- either because I’ve been tired or I just wanted to blog about more mundane things.
Basically I wonder about the reality of some of my internet friends. I mean my family on Thanksgiving (whom I mostly never agree with) talked about how can I really count internet friends as friends when what I know about them is what they tell me?
And that quite frankly I had thought about this before- that while I count Evan as one of my better friends, all I know about Evan is what he’s been willing to share; that while he’s shared a lot with me in his letters and his blog entries, it’s still filtered information, what he’s willing to share. For all I know he has halitosis or has a habit of stealing his kid’s fries when they’re not looking.
I like Evan and I do count him as one of my closer friends. I think it’s amazing how different we are but how we have many similar views and tastes- it’s because we’re both Geminis, but there it is.
A real life example would be to compare what I know about a friend’s husband. I don’t like the husband all that much, but the reasons I don’t like him are based on what I’ve seen of him. Granted, reading between the lines of what she says has made me realize what a selfish prick he is… But my image of him is mostly from the little things I see him do- like the fact that he was sooo in his own world that he took a whopping bite from a sub and almost choked. Likewise he’s a sore winner.
Again I don’t know if Evan plays video games well( or lies about playing well ;-) ) or has good eating habits… but I like him and I consider him a friend.
I was going to go on to compare the ‘levels’ of realness of various people… but I think that’s it. Maybe that’s why it’s taken so long for me to blog this… because I complicated matters by thinking “Oh, even though I’ve talked more to Evan, Adam is more real to me because I’ve MEET Adam”.,.. But the core is just Evan knows only know me from what I’ve said here, in emails and our play it by email games… and vica versa. One day I hope to meet Evan with and without his family, but for now- Evan, Adam and Adj. are in ‘friends’ list, as to me that’s what they are.
Basically I wonder about the reality of some of my internet friends. I mean my family on Thanksgiving (whom I mostly never agree with) talked about how can I really count internet friends as friends when what I know about them is what they tell me?
And that quite frankly I had thought about this before- that while I count Evan as one of my better friends, all I know about Evan is what he’s been willing to share; that while he’s shared a lot with me in his letters and his blog entries, it’s still filtered information, what he’s willing to share. For all I know he has halitosis or has a habit of stealing his kid’s fries when they’re not looking.
I like Evan and I do count him as one of my closer friends. I think it’s amazing how different we are but how we have many similar views and tastes- it’s because we’re both Geminis, but there it is.
A real life example would be to compare what I know about a friend’s husband. I don’t like the husband all that much, but the reasons I don’t like him are based on what I’ve seen of him. Granted, reading between the lines of what she says has made me realize what a selfish prick he is… But my image of him is mostly from the little things I see him do- like the fact that he was sooo in his own world that he took a whopping bite from a sub and almost choked. Likewise he’s a sore winner.
Again I don’t know if Evan plays video games well( or lies about playing well ;-) ) or has good eating habits… but I like him and I consider him a friend.
I was going to go on to compare the ‘levels’ of realness of various people… but I think that’s it. Maybe that’s why it’s taken so long for me to blog this… because I complicated matters by thinking “Oh, even though I’ve talked more to Evan, Adam is more real to me because I’ve MEET Adam”.,.. But the core is just Evan knows only know me from what I’ve said here, in emails and our play it by email games… and vica versa. One day I hope to meet Evan with and without his family, but for now- Evan, Adam and Adj. are in ‘friends’ list, as to me that’s what they are.
2 Comments:
At 1/02/2006 01:15:00 AM,
Unknown said…
Ye left out phone conversations too. I really appreciated those from you when I was sick last year (and you were the only friend to call pre-op, local or otherwise).
I agree, there's plenty we still have to discover about each other in this friendship, but I only filter myself on my blog--private emails are always as candid as I feel at the moment
great post topic, btw
At 1/02/2006 10:08:00 PM,
Drew said…
Sorry I forgot about calling you. Yes- I talked to you while you were in the hospital...
Which i guess confirms that you are indeed male and were indeed at the hospital.
See in keeping it simple... I assume you are always honest
;-)
However as we've both learnt, some people take advantage of this trust- there were two people in the games who pretended to be other people as well as themselves in the email games...
I trust you, and think you've earnt that trust, but at the same time I think it's hard to explain this trust- but then again my Dad has several times expressed his unhappiness at one of my r/l friends and how I shouldn't trust him. My friend suggests the exact opposite that my father is the selfish one.
;-)
I mean no disrespect. Just throwing it out there as interesting ideas.
And that said, I know I sometimes edit myself... but I do that in REAL LIFE- in fact I sometimes think I'm a bit more honest here then elsewhere. Everything here is true, but not everything GETS here... or in a letter to you.
and thank you. I felt it was an interesting topic that I should blog about--- that's why it got here... eventually.
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