Psych 1, Psych 2 What do you know?

After I visited Evan, he mentioned in his blog learning of my ‘essence’. I’ve thought about this a bit- as I feel the Drew he talked to and the Drew who normally blogs here are sort of different.
When I got to meet Evan, I was ‘on holiday’, I had come from hanging out with my Older brother for several days and while my bro is NOT my favorite person- I do like his gf and I gotta say my niece was tres cute….
That said, most of the time that I blog, I blog out of anger or depression. My father called me on Tuesday- while I was at work and I emailed him back saying that I didn’t plan on talking to him because I was feeling anti social. I didn’t say the LAST thing I wanted was to talk to him but I did tell him that I had a lot of stuff to do on Wednesday- which included going out drinking. I lied to him by saying I was going out with a friend- as I didn’t want him to know how sad it was that I was drinking by myself--- and it got sadder as with the Red Sox in the play offs, I ended up drinking at home alone.
My dad, not for the first time, suggested that I talk to a doctor about getting meds so I FEEL more productive. I told him, as I’ve told him before as well as my mom and older brother, that I would rather BE more productive then FEEL more productive. I feel my depression comes naturally due to our commander and thief, and my horrid job, oh and Kenny boy.

The U.S. is currently occupying a foreign country. I can’t see another way to express what we’re doing in Iraq; as OUR government has troops there even though the average Iraqi wants us gone AND we’ve written in their constitution so that the Iraqi government can NOT go after Blackwater for Blackwaters ‘misdeeds’ (i.e. killing innocent Iraqis).
Likewise the U.S. enconomy is in the crapper due to W., our money is at an ALL TIME LOW… currently (no offense) the U.S. dollar EQUALS the Canadian Dollar. W. has used one of his few vetos to deny CHILDERN healthcare….
And in ‘local’ news I got a hand out from the Boston Public Library System complaining how hard THEIR lives our. Man, I DREAM of making the money they are there- and they are complaining( and I would say rightly so) because like MOST jobs they don’t get a cost of living increase… and thus each year their take home ends up being less and less…
Oh and what I consider the PHONEY Soldiers- I.E. Limbaugh, O’Riely and the rest of the far right who have NEVER served a day in their lives, are attacking REAL soldiers for daring to talk out. I told a friend of mine that I didn’t care how long Kerry was in ‘Nam, the fact of the matter is when we see pictures of Dick going to Iraq- Dick has a MAJOR flak jacket on top of the armed protection he has… So Dick has more protection then Kerry did in Nam… It makes me sick

And thus I think I come by my depression naturally. Of course it prolly doesn’t help that well I have a rather bad self image( working retail and all that) and while recently reading other blogs( NOT picking on anyone just saying)… I realize that I have NEVER been in a relationship where I have loved and been loved by that person. Not a 40 year old virgin… but I would say I’ve f***ed someone and not made love; which prolly comes close to the 40 year old virgin thing.
More on that later( started writing about my suicide attempt but am late for work so will write and post that this weekend).