The deconstruction of X-mas
Yes I am Jewish but for most of my life(1+) I've been celebrating X-mas with my father and his family. You see his uncle( my great uncle) married a nice CHRISTIAN woman. He went native and so began a tradition of the Jewish Harrisis celebrating X-mas with him and his wife.
This went on for many years. After my mom and dad divorced... They agreed that I would be with her for Thanksgiving and him for X-mas... which worked quite well as my mom is Jewish ( duh!). As I was young... all the family would go up to my great uncle's on Christmas Eve, the grown up would drink and party and us kids would look at the wonders of the Conn. woods( he had many trees around the house) and eagerly await the presents of X-mas.
As the adults and kids got older... this tradition sort of fell by the way side. My great uncle died of cancer, and a few years while his wife was still around- I and her daughter[ my cousin once removed or great cousin or something] were the only ones who came up Christmas Eve.
The holiday ( for the most part) would be me being up there Christmas Eve, my father and his second wife coming up on X-mas. We would then open family gifts at my great uncle's house, then we would drive back to my dad's house... where we were told by his second wife to RELAX. We would have coca and then go after the gifts to each other.
Now to tell you about the gifting, is to show how anal rententive she was... and how it's EVIL on kids sometimes to be anal.
I would have to give everyone their presents... that would be the same at both my dad's and my great uncle's... However at my great uncle's, we would as normal people then start OPENING presents after everyone got, and sometimes some people wouldn't wait that long they'd open as they got.
At my step mother's urging ... After we 'relaxed' and the presents were given out, we would open them ONE at a time in AGE order. So for example say you have 4 people( my father, his wife, my older brother, and me) you can see who gets the most presents- the youngest kid(me). Then as you add another kid( my younger brother), at first nothing happens to the middle kid's presents, as they youngest is too young for really cool neat presents... but as the youngest gets older- the middle child's presents dwindle. And why not, if you're a parent you might be more prone to give YOUR kid better stuff then your STEP son...
That's one thing, but to create piles and only allow one present by one person to be opened at a time... you show the whole system to be wacked.
Esp. as for the last few years before she kicked my dad out- my step mom and him started giving EACH OTHER good multiple presents... so me and my brother would be sitting there with our presents while the three( younger bro, dad and step mom) were still opening presents... and of course we were ORDERED to pay attention.
Wacked out.
Now as we got older, not only did the rest of my family not come up on X-mas eve, BUT my dad and step mom would make social calls between showing up at my uncle's house and leaving for our own gift giving... further taking away from the holiday.
I think the most surreal part of X-mas came AFTER my dad got kicked to the curb, because for a few years we'd still have X-mas at my uncle's but his GF( now his third wife) would be there and then he'd bring us boys to my step mom's... and he didn't bother telling us this. Each year I kept wondering, would this be the last year? Do I have to get both his gf and his wife a present????
After he finally married his next wife--- the holiday changed completely. To the point where instead of having the holiday at my Great Uncle's house, where there was room for the family- to my dad's new house where he put everyone up in a hotel as there was no room at his place for ANYONE really to sleep.
So this year my father, his wife and my brothers are going to the British Virgin Islands( or some such islands) for the holiday. I'm not going because being stuck on an island with my family isn't my idea of a vacation.
Will I miss Christmas? Not really... I sorta miss the x-mas of my youth, which wasn't all that great in hindsight.
This went on for many years. After my mom and dad divorced... They agreed that I would be with her for Thanksgiving and him for X-mas... which worked quite well as my mom is Jewish ( duh!). As I was young... all the family would go up to my great uncle's on Christmas Eve, the grown up would drink and party and us kids would look at the wonders of the Conn. woods( he had many trees around the house) and eagerly await the presents of X-mas.
As the adults and kids got older... this tradition sort of fell by the way side. My great uncle died of cancer, and a few years while his wife was still around- I and her daughter[ my cousin once removed or great cousin or something] were the only ones who came up Christmas Eve.
The holiday ( for the most part) would be me being up there Christmas Eve, my father and his second wife coming up on X-mas. We would then open family gifts at my great uncle's house, then we would drive back to my dad's house... where we were told by his second wife to RELAX. We would have coca and then go after the gifts to each other.
Now to tell you about the gifting, is to show how anal rententive she was... and how it's EVIL on kids sometimes to be anal.
I would have to give everyone their presents... that would be the same at both my dad's and my great uncle's... However at my great uncle's, we would as normal people then start OPENING presents after everyone got, and sometimes some people wouldn't wait that long they'd open as they got.
At my step mother's urging ... After we 'relaxed' and the presents were given out, we would open them ONE at a time in AGE order. So for example say you have 4 people( my father, his wife, my older brother, and me) you can see who gets the most presents- the youngest kid(me). Then as you add another kid( my younger brother), at first nothing happens to the middle kid's presents, as they youngest is too young for really cool neat presents... but as the youngest gets older- the middle child's presents dwindle. And why not, if you're a parent you might be more prone to give YOUR kid better stuff then your STEP son...
That's one thing, but to create piles and only allow one present by one person to be opened at a time... you show the whole system to be wacked.
Esp. as for the last few years before she kicked my dad out- my step mom and him started giving EACH OTHER good multiple presents... so me and my brother would be sitting there with our presents while the three( younger bro, dad and step mom) were still opening presents... and of course we were ORDERED to pay attention.
Wacked out.
Now as we got older, not only did the rest of my family not come up on X-mas eve, BUT my dad and step mom would make social calls between showing up at my uncle's house and leaving for our own gift giving... further taking away from the holiday.
I think the most surreal part of X-mas came AFTER my dad got kicked to the curb, because for a few years we'd still have X-mas at my uncle's but his GF( now his third wife) would be there and then he'd bring us boys to my step mom's... and he didn't bother telling us this. Each year I kept wondering, would this be the last year? Do I have to get both his gf and his wife a present????
After he finally married his next wife--- the holiday changed completely. To the point where instead of having the holiday at my Great Uncle's house, where there was room for the family- to my dad's new house where he put everyone up in a hotel as there was no room at his place for ANYONE really to sleep.
So this year my father, his wife and my brothers are going to the British Virgin Islands( or some such islands) for the holiday. I'm not going because being stuck on an island with my family isn't my idea of a vacation.
Will I miss Christmas? Not really... I sorta miss the x-mas of my youth, which wasn't all that great in hindsight.
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