Still Me...
A month or so ago, Evan asked me what the ONE biggest change in my life was due to losing weight. I told him that there was not ONE thing that changed but a whole passel of things. I even started writing a blog to expand on my answer and list more things that have changed.
Well at least one thing haven’t changed and I want to mention them here now. I mention these because I went to a party on Saturday and had merely on ok time compared to my manager’s GOOD time.
I still have low self esteem. Never mind that I look better. I’m still not sure I look GOOD, merely better then I did. I know all of the people at the party (save for the birthday boy’s ‘rents and grand ‘rents) were younger then I- heck they thought Manager M was old and I have 4 years on him.
Added to that the fact that most of my male co-workers are in MUCH better shape and I just don’t feel special. Yes, I’m in better shape then most other people of my size and age… but that still makes me short and old.
And stuck on the bottom rung of a crappy career ladder. Yup, at the party I let people know that I worked FOR the B’day boy.
Well at least one thing haven’t changed and I want to mention them here now. I mention these because I went to a party on Saturday and had merely on ok time compared to my manager’s GOOD time.
I still have low self esteem. Never mind that I look better. I’m still not sure I look GOOD, merely better then I did. I know all of the people at the party (save for the birthday boy’s ‘rents and grand ‘rents) were younger then I- heck they thought Manager M was old and I have 4 years on him.
Added to that the fact that most of my male co-workers are in MUCH better shape and I just don’t feel special. Yes, I’m in better shape then most other people of my size and age… but that still makes me short and old.
And stuck on the bottom rung of a crappy career ladder. Yup, at the party I let people know that I worked FOR the B’day boy.
1 Comments:
At 8/10/2006 10:49:00 AM,
Angie said…
In my opinion, one of the most prevalent, and may I say frustrating, facets of the human psyche is a marked negativity regarding our own self-image. I struggle with this myself--most times, my self-esteem is practically nil, but I'm working on that.
But, honestly, I think you've done a remarkable job with the weight loss, I really do.
And hey, you are special, don't you forget it!
Aimee
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