Long Shadow
Man,
one of these days my dad is going to die or I'm going to learn not to talk to him. It's not just that he doesn't understand me but a) he doesn't try and b) he tries to force me to see HIS side. B wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for A. It's like he wants to explode my brain by making me be OPEN to other people's feelings when he isn't open to mine.
What's set me off this time is he's talked to a friend who owns a VERY small publishing company and wanted to know if I would be interested in working slash learning about the company. My dad had emailed me this so I knew I wasn't going to like this conversation. Basically while I would be willing to work for my dad's friend's company- I don't want to work in the publishing field. I tried to explain to my dad that while I would work for his friend for a paycheck that I did NOT want to work in the publishing field... Because I didn't want to be known as HIS son. Just like I didn't want to go to the same school as my brothers because I didn't want to be known as X's brother.... A) My father felt that being known as HIS son wouldn't be soo bad and b) not having any siblings or having to deal with his own parents as an adult- he doesn't understand this.
He also got peeved with me because he KEEPS asking what I want to do with my life and I keep not having a good answer to him.
Damn I suck ;-)
My older brother sorta understood when I talked to him, which I thought was odd but nice.
I told my dad that my dream job was still Reference Librarian and it's had for me to let go of my dream. After that- I want to try and figure out if there's a way to work on video games. I know there are ALOT of people more tech savvy them me in the field but applying to Turbine made me think it might be interesting to be a story editor or keep track of continuity on open ended games like Fable or GTA.
He told me that I could talk to his friend and maybe he has contacts. I thanked him.
sadly I was firm that he hadn't sent me the publisher's number and I double checked after talking to him- and sure enough he had. I say this is sad because the NEXT time I'm sure of something, he's gonna throw this up in my face.
Well, will hit craig's list tomorrow and see what I can see.
hope this makes sense as I'm tired in a physical and mental manner.
one of these days my dad is going to die or I'm going to learn not to talk to him. It's not just that he doesn't understand me but a) he doesn't try and b) he tries to force me to see HIS side. B wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for A. It's like he wants to explode my brain by making me be OPEN to other people's feelings when he isn't open to mine.
What's set me off this time is he's talked to a friend who owns a VERY small publishing company and wanted to know if I would be interested in working slash learning about the company. My dad had emailed me this so I knew I wasn't going to like this conversation. Basically while I would be willing to work for my dad's friend's company- I don't want to work in the publishing field. I tried to explain to my dad that while I would work for his friend for a paycheck that I did NOT want to work in the publishing field... Because I didn't want to be known as HIS son. Just like I didn't want to go to the same school as my brothers because I didn't want to be known as X's brother.... A) My father felt that being known as HIS son wouldn't be soo bad and b) not having any siblings or having to deal with his own parents as an adult- he doesn't understand this.
He also got peeved with me because he KEEPS asking what I want to do with my life and I keep not having a good answer to him.
Damn I suck ;-)
My older brother sorta understood when I talked to him, which I thought was odd but nice.
I told my dad that my dream job was still Reference Librarian and it's had for me to let go of my dream. After that- I want to try and figure out if there's a way to work on video games. I know there are ALOT of people more tech savvy them me in the field but applying to Turbine made me think it might be interesting to be a story editor or keep track of continuity on open ended games like Fable or GTA.
He told me that I could talk to his friend and maybe he has contacts. I thanked him.
sadly I was firm that he hadn't sent me the publisher's number and I double checked after talking to him- and sure enough he had. I say this is sad because the NEXT time I'm sure of something, he's gonna throw this up in my face.
Well, will hit craig's list tomorrow and see what I can see.
hope this makes sense as I'm tired in a physical and mental manner.
5 Comments:
At 5/02/2005 10:58:00 AM,
Anonymous said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
At 5/02/2005 05:52:00 PM,
Drew said…
Normally I'm against censorship... but I will freely admit that I deleted a comment to this message.
I did this NOT because the person disargreed with me... as did someone before the elections with Most Liberal Waffler? and I met an Undecided today. The poster disagreed with me and signed his posts. I posted back and then never heard from him again. I think I handled them well- neither he nor I resorted to name calling(though he called Kerry a jerk and I might've called W. some names in my first posts).
This post I deleted because we weren't discussing politics but MY personal life... and well pointing out that being a reference librarian is a dumb dream isn't insightful or helpful, it's mean.
I was raised by my parents to have good manners... this is something that's ingrained in me. I realize that not all people these days are taught good manners but if you respond to my blog, I expect a certain amount of respect.
You can call me wrong... but you don't make light of my dreams.
Perhaps if the poster had signed their name- not saying they HAD to have an account but like carolyn, at least sign the letter with their name... I might've kept it- BUT they called me names, made fun of my dream and didn't fess up to it.
So it's gone.
At 5/03/2005 01:44:00 AM,
Unknown said…
Ah, now I understand the subject you asked about in email.
What a punk ass! It's not like your dream is torturing puppies.
Having worked as a student librarian, I don't think *I* would ever want to work a library again, but it's not my dream anyway.
As your friend, you know I'm always behind you and supportive of you going for happyness and not mediocrity.
Of course, the self0centered narcissist would love a friend who worked in publishing...
At 5/03/2005 03:34:00 PM,
Drew said…
And for the record... talked to the guy he sounded nice and I WILL be having a meeting with him... He went straight to busness mode and set up the appointment. I tried to be nice but firm and let him know I had an MLS and was interested in help getting a job there. He still seemed nice and let the appointment stand...
and dude it takes ALL kinds. There are many people who dream of doing stuff that I would NEVER do( like having THREE kids ;-) ) and that's what helps make the world go round.
At 7/20/2005 04:51:00 PM,
Lyss said…
My mom does that. Actually, most of my family does. My aunt recently asked if I'd like to learn about teh real estate business form her. I don't. And I tried to remind her that her business is in NJ, where I am no longer located.
As for the dad thing, relatives can be stressful, but I really miss my dad now that he's gone. Even his stupid ideas about my future.
Its cool you want to be a librarian. I love libraries.
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