Truely Laughing out LOUD.

I JUST saw last night's Daily show and wanted to share just how DARN funny I thought it was.

Below is the transcript...

STEWART: I want to begin with something a little more personal than usual. As many in the audience know -- that are out there watching -- there is a war on Christmas.

[laughter]

STEWART: It's been devastating -- don't even know if there will be a Christmas this year. My guess is yes. But what you may not know is who's been waging this war on Christmas. Well, as it turns out, it's me.

[laughter]

O'REILLY [video clip of December 2 edition of Fox News' The O'Reilly Factor]: Predictably, the opponents of public displays of Christmas continue to put forth counter-arguments on 'Secular Central.' I -- I mean, Comedy Central. They said this:

SAMANTHA BEE [video clip]: Christmas: It's the only religious holiday that's also a federal holiday. That way, Christians can go to their services and everyone else can stay home and reflect on the true meaning of separation of church and state.

[laughter]

O'REILLY: And a Merry Christmas to you, Jon Stewart.

[applause]

STEWART: Well, thank you. And let me say to you, Bill O'Reilly, and the entire O'Reilly clan: "Feliz Navidad." Although I'm sure you're concerned that that's getting too prevalent as well in this country. Secondly, you mentioned here at "Secular Central" -- or as I call it, "Godless Central" -- that we keep putting forth counter-arguments against Christmas. But I don't recall that clip that you showed there, but, you know what, I'll ask Samantha Bee. She was in that clip. Sam, can you come out, please?

BEE: Hey, Jon.

[Drew: I feel at this point I must mention that Samantha Bee is VERY obviously pregnent. She wears the same swearter she did in the clip that O'Rielly showed, but it doesn't fit AT ALL. It's funny.]

STEWART: Hey! Samantha Bee, everybody. Let me ask you a question: Do you -- you filed that report on Christmas.

BEE: I did.

STEWART: Do you remember when we did that?

BEE: Well, let's see. Can we take a look?

STEWART: Do you want to take a look at the clip? Sure.

BEE [video clip]: It's the only religious holiday that's also a federal holiday. That way Christians can go to their services and everyone else can stay home and reflect on the true meaning of separation of church and state.

STEWART: You see, I mean, is that -- is that recent? Was that last week?

BEE: I got it. You know what? That clip was from last December.

STEWART: Now, how do you know that?

BEE: Well, it's subtle but it's -- it's unmistakable, Jon. My highlights. You see those there? Those are honey. These, clearly, caramel. Apparently, Mr. O'Reilly thought that nobody would notice. So -- Oh! Oh, my goodness! My water just broke.

[laughter]

STEWART: Oh, OK. All right. Sam Bee, everybody. I didn't -- didn't realize --

[applause]

STEWART: By the way, if that baby in there turns out to be Jesus, somebody owes somebody an apology.

[laughter]

STEWART: But apparently, we liberal secular fags here at Comedy Central --

[laughter]

STEWART: -- have fired a devastating year-old six-second-long joke that doesn't barely even make any sense to us anymore across the bow of Christianity. When you think of liberals, your thoughts naturally turn to others who are fighting against Christmas like the Puritans: the first white Americans who banned Christmas celebrations for 22 years in Boston because they deemed all of them unseemly. Godless pricks.

[laughter]

STEWART: Mr. O'Reilly also objects, obviously, to the use of the phrase "Happy Holidays" as anti-Christian, although, for some people, there is also a -- a celebration of the New Year. So Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays, so there is a plural, which in the English language necessitates the use of the letter "S." Now, I suppose you could say "Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year" but you probably have (expletive) to do.

[laughter, applause]

STEWART: You shorten it to "Happy Holidays."

[laughter]

STEWART: Not everybody who says that is anti-Christian, but for those of you who don't feel like you want to be idiots walking around starting on November 27 saying "Merry Christmas" to people, knock yourself out. You know what, it's OK. If Bill O'Reilly needs to have an enemy, needs to feel persecuted, you know what? Here's my Kwanzaa gift to him. Are you ready? All right. I'm your enemy. Make me your enemy. I, Jon Stewart, hate Christmas, Christians, Jews, morality, and I will not rest until every year families gather to spend December 25th together at Osama's homo-abortion-pot-and-commie-jizzporium.

I just found this soooo funny. I had heard about the Purtians banning X-mas but was very glad that Stewert brought it up.

He makes me laugh.