Blog about Weight
Several months ago when Evan asked me five questions the forth question he asked me was “4. You've lost a substantial amount of weight this past year; what's been the biggest change in your life as a result?”
I answered that there was no one change. And I still feel that’s the case but I wanted to expand my answer a bit more… Esp. as I just saw MY nutritionist for the second time (first time was shortly before my trip to Amsterdam)
Original Answer:
Expansion:
A week or so ago, I wore a medium sized t shirt from Amsterdam. I thought it was a bit tight and was self conscious about wearing it, but I wore it because I wanted to show off the shirt. One of my friends point out, in a non gay way, that he thought it looked good.
Which was odd to me as I realized that somehow I’m on the other side of the tunnel and tight is now GOOD, whereas tight usually was bad… as it showed off my tummy and not my biceps.
And speaking of my arms- I’ve noticed my wrist bone, and other people’s wrist bones. It’s not like I ever had cankles( that’s a word to describe people so fat they don’t have ankles- their calves and ankles have become one…) but I couldn’t see the wrist joint slash bump on my arm… and I’ve noticed it on others. I’ve likewise have noticed my veins have become more obvious on most of my body- even though when I gave blood back in the day… it wasn’t hard even then for the doctors to find the veins.
I have noticed myself looking at my arms and the back of my hands more often. When I used to hear “… like the back of my hand” I’d shrug as I have poor notice skills and didn’t think twice about the back of my hands… But now I’ve started to LOOK at the back of my hands (esp. as I get bored at work). Not only have I noticed more veins, but I’ve also looked at muscle movement. I also have noticed that I’ve gotten the bad habit of cracking my knuckles. Yet another thing I do that vexes my mom
;-)
I’ve also decided I have to do something about my exercise shirt. I got two FREE XL shirts from the game store and they’ve worked… but now I think the sleeves are too long and getting in my way. Tempted just to take scissors to the sleeves. I also was happy that I went from my XL shorts to a pair of L shorts that I found while cleaning.
Which leads me to mention that while I’ve tried to keep up pant wise with my change in weight as I mentioned back in may- most of my shirts are still large or xl. I’ve started to buy medium but since I’ve had other things to spend money on- and the old shirts DO fit- I’m slow on buying the shirts. Though I did get my work shirt in a medium and it runs big, as I was warned.
I also wanted to note that I got in trouble with a co-worker. I would call V. zaftig, yes she’s over weight but I didn’t think of her as fat so much as full bodied. I was talking to her about my Assistant Manager S. S and her sidekick Sa were going to go to a water park- but then S decided that she was TOO FAT and wouldn’t go. S is a ‘recovering’ anorexic and barely eats at all. So I was making fun of the fact that she thought she was too fat to V. I was saying “It’s not like she’s…” and I paused as I normally would say ME, but actually I sorta wanted to go to the water park with S and Sa to show off; so I ended up saying YOU… and thus got V not talking to me for quite some time (not sure if she’s talking to me yet but we’ve exchanged basic hi!’s and thank yous” I didn’t mean to insult her- I thought she was comfortable in her body image… and I just wasn’t thinking- as again normally I’d’ve just made fun of myself.
Lastly- wanted to mention the fact that I saw my nutritionist today, and yes it feels weird to say MY nutritionist. This was my second meeting with her- at the first she wanted me to go off the cliff bars for breakfast and start eating a REAL breakfast. So for the past month or so I’ve been eating cereal with 1% milk and occasionally adding fruit to that- either blueberries or raspberries. The days I haven’t had fruit is because the fruit has been going bad faster then I eat it.
I want to mention that she would’ve been happier with skim as opposed to 1% but she didn’t push the skim… And I told her, as I now tell you, that I measure out the food. 1 cup of cereal, ½ cup of 1% milk and (starting this week) ½ cup of blueberries. I started measuring the fruit as a) it was going bad too fast and b) I wanted something better then “ a couple of handfuls” as a measuring tool.
One of the weird things about seeing her, was a year ago I would’ve gotten an earful of what I was doing wrong; now don’t get me wrong she still complained about starch and other stuff I was eating BUT she was happy that I had lost a few pounds since I last saw her and was genuinely happy about how much I weighed ( on her scale 152- on my scale this am 151). She is NOT pushing me to eat LESS but rather BETTER and a bit more- or at least a bit more fruits/veggies.
She gave me a handout with 5 a day- saying not only that I should eat like 5 servings of fruit/veggies every day but that I should eat like one of each color- Blue/Purple, Green, White, Yellow/ Orange and Red.
Actually I don’t think I really do Green- though on days I’ve done maybe 3 out of 5 or so.
I know carrot sticks last a week or so, as I’ve been snacking on them for the past couple of weeks and a bag last a bit… when I do remember to eat them… wonder how long grapes would last- as grapes would be a good green, as I guess would celery sticks.
I answered that there was no one change. And I still feel that’s the case but I wanted to expand my answer a bit more… Esp. as I just saw MY nutritionist for the second time (first time was shortly before my trip to Amsterdam)
Original Answer:
Sorry, it’s a whole package deal. I can’t put my finger on any one thing because as I lost weight, it snowballed. I eat totally different these days and I think differently about eating, I exercise on a semi regular basis, my mom has pointed out that I needed to buy new clothes as even the clothes that I grew out of are big on me and lastly I look at myself more often. I don’t mean the last part to sound narcissistic, but it’s a fact… last year the only time I looked in a mirror was to shave and I did that quick; now I look at the mirror and check myself out, see how the loss of weight has affected me.
I have pride in the way I look, but I don’t think I can say the pride is the biggest change; because in order to get that pride I’ve had to do a lot and change a lot of my thought process. There are candy machines at work and I got some Reese’s Pieces because it looked like if I bought one bag, I’d be able to get a second that was hanging on by a thread. So I have two bags of Reese’s, but I haven’t opened them because one of the first things I did after getting them is notice the calorie content… And that’s something I wouldn’t have done even last October, after I had started my diet.
Expansion:
A week or so ago, I wore a medium sized t shirt from Amsterdam. I thought it was a bit tight and was self conscious about wearing it, but I wore it because I wanted to show off the shirt. One of my friends point out, in a non gay way, that he thought it looked good.
Which was odd to me as I realized that somehow I’m on the other side of the tunnel and tight is now GOOD, whereas tight usually was bad… as it showed off my tummy and not my biceps.
And speaking of my arms- I’ve noticed my wrist bone, and other people’s wrist bones. It’s not like I ever had cankles( that’s a word to describe people so fat they don’t have ankles- their calves and ankles have become one…) but I couldn’t see the wrist joint slash bump on my arm… and I’ve noticed it on others. I’ve likewise have noticed my veins have become more obvious on most of my body- even though when I gave blood back in the day… it wasn’t hard even then for the doctors to find the veins.
I have noticed myself looking at my arms and the back of my hands more often. When I used to hear “… like the back of my hand” I’d shrug as I have poor notice skills and didn’t think twice about the back of my hands… But now I’ve started to LOOK at the back of my hands (esp. as I get bored at work). Not only have I noticed more veins, but I’ve also looked at muscle movement. I also have noticed that I’ve gotten the bad habit of cracking my knuckles. Yet another thing I do that vexes my mom
;-)
I’ve also decided I have to do something about my exercise shirt. I got two FREE XL shirts from the game store and they’ve worked… but now I think the sleeves are too long and getting in my way. Tempted just to take scissors to the sleeves. I also was happy that I went from my XL shorts to a pair of L shorts that I found while cleaning.
Which leads me to mention that while I’ve tried to keep up pant wise with my change in weight as I mentioned back in may- most of my shirts are still large or xl. I’ve started to buy medium but since I’ve had other things to spend money on- and the old shirts DO fit- I’m slow on buying the shirts. Though I did get my work shirt in a medium and it runs big, as I was warned.
I also wanted to note that I got in trouble with a co-worker. I would call V. zaftig, yes she’s over weight but I didn’t think of her as fat so much as full bodied. I was talking to her about my Assistant Manager S. S and her sidekick Sa were going to go to a water park- but then S decided that she was TOO FAT and wouldn’t go. S is a ‘recovering’ anorexic and barely eats at all. So I was making fun of the fact that she thought she was too fat to V. I was saying “It’s not like she’s…” and I paused as I normally would say ME, but actually I sorta wanted to go to the water park with S and Sa to show off; so I ended up saying YOU… and thus got V not talking to me for quite some time (not sure if she’s talking to me yet but we’ve exchanged basic hi!’s and thank yous” I didn’t mean to insult her- I thought she was comfortable in her body image… and I just wasn’t thinking- as again normally I’d’ve just made fun of myself.
Lastly- wanted to mention the fact that I saw my nutritionist today, and yes it feels weird to say MY nutritionist. This was my second meeting with her- at the first she wanted me to go off the cliff bars for breakfast and start eating a REAL breakfast. So for the past month or so I’ve been eating cereal with 1% milk and occasionally adding fruit to that- either blueberries or raspberries. The days I haven’t had fruit is because the fruit has been going bad faster then I eat it.
I want to mention that she would’ve been happier with skim as opposed to 1% but she didn’t push the skim… And I told her, as I now tell you, that I measure out the food. 1 cup of cereal, ½ cup of 1% milk and (starting this week) ½ cup of blueberries. I started measuring the fruit as a) it was going bad too fast and b) I wanted something better then “ a couple of handfuls” as a measuring tool.
One of the weird things about seeing her, was a year ago I would’ve gotten an earful of what I was doing wrong; now don’t get me wrong she still complained about starch and other stuff I was eating BUT she was happy that I had lost a few pounds since I last saw her and was genuinely happy about how much I weighed ( on her scale 152- on my scale this am 151). She is NOT pushing me to eat LESS but rather BETTER and a bit more- or at least a bit more fruits/veggies.
She gave me a handout with 5 a day- saying not only that I should eat like 5 servings of fruit/veggies every day but that I should eat like one of each color- Blue/Purple, Green, White, Yellow/ Orange and Red.
Actually I don’t think I really do Green- though on days I’ve done maybe 3 out of 5 or so.
I know carrot sticks last a week or so, as I’ve been snacking on them for the past couple of weeks and a bag last a bit… when I do remember to eat them… wonder how long grapes would last- as grapes would be a good green, as I guess would celery sticks.
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