Comic Cancelation.

I know I’ve been a bit too quiet here the past week or two.

I’m not sure what to say- save for that I’ve been depressed, I didn’t go to the library conference and I AM seeking professional help.

Part of my reluctance to blog about this is I don’t want to worry people- which I think will happen if I lay things out on the table. I’m also a tad reluctant because I recently commented about an author’s work on my LJ and was DAMN surprised that they found my blog and commented on it- so I don’t feel the safety of the anonymity of my blog right now- and don’t want just ANYONE stumbling across some stuff.

So maybe in a month or more- I’ll post more about my depression BEHIND a private LJ post. IF I do that- I’ll think about allowing Evan to let Aimee know what I posted.

In the mean time- I wanted to let you guys know that while I was anxious today (a sort of normal feeling for me these days)…. I went my local comic book store, I bought all the comics in my sub and I closed my sub.
Let me state that since I am currently BARELY employed- I have been lectured by both my folks that though they will help me out… They both have made it VERY CLEAR that they don’t want me buying comics.
Now I will admit that as I was going to the comic book store today to buy my comics- part of me was like ‘screw them’, I have some money- I can fuck around with my budget, and I need SOMETHING to make me happy.
On the other hand I’ve gotten rid of at least 5 boxes of comics in the past few weeks, figuring they weren’t even worth putting on Ebay. Also on the side of NO COMICS is the fact that my Dad came up and ‘helped’ me clean my apartment last Tuesday. I really wasn’t in the position to say no- and still feel a bit like he saw stuff I didn’t want him to see…And he saw what sorta crap I have in my apartment.
That said the two deciders for me to cancel my sub was- a) the poor quality of comics. I know that it had been more then a month since I picked up comics (I had two Jack of Fables) and I had EIGHT comics. As I cancelled my sub, I apologized to the manager of the store, pointing out that I didn’t have a job …BUT all the while pointing out how crappy I think comics are (none of the 8 was a mainstream Super comic)… not caring who dies in Final Crisis (of Superman, WW, Flash, GL, Hawkman and Bats- it HAS to be Hawkman…) and not caring who’s a skrull( esp. as it won’t be Tony).
The other decider- and perhaps I shouldn’t say this because of my fear of being ‘found out’ is that in this digital age- I can DOWNLOAD any recent comic I want. So if I really want to do more then flip through a comic- I can go to a bit torrent site and download it.

That said- I do plan to buy the final issue of Y the last Man… whenever that comes out… and I hope to have a full time job or find a way to budget for the next Invincible or PS 238 Trades.
And I feel REAL GOOD with my decision because- 1) I have a huge video library and am deciding if $15 for netflix is doable 2) I have a bunch of books- AND a library card… and 3) I do have a bunch of comics that I can re-read that are full of wonderful nostalgia.

That’s it now. Will try to find a way to balance things so I either email adj and evan on a regular basis- or find time to blog… even if it’s just to blog what book I’m reading ( up to my 4th book of 2008, but haven’t finished the reviews of 2 and 3( the second and third books of the Dark Materials/ Golden Compass trilogy).