Love me do...
I was thinking yesterday and today why I get bugged by my Dad saying he “loves me unconditionally” because I’m his son. On the one hand I understand this- because I put up with my Dad BECAUSE he is my Dad. If I friend treated me like my Dad does- they wouldn’t be my friend for long…
At first I thought it was the logic hair splitting- he has said that he loves me BECAUSE I am his son. So logic would dictate that if I was NOT his son, he wouldn’t love me; therefore his love is conditional on us being related…
HOWEVER, and I figured this out myself- so I could be wrong.
I think the problem is---- I want him to LOVE ME for ME. I want to be loved, not because he messed around with my mom… but because I’m a pretty nice guy.
I care for my step brother and sister- not because I HAVE to, but because I like them. Same goes for my step father- He’s MY step father. Whereas my father’s third wife is… his third wife and NOT my Step mother.
I hope this make sense. I’m tired and I think this is an important thought to share. I’m not a parent- but most of my blog readers ARE ;-)
So let me know as both a ‘child’ of someone and a parent IF it makes sense at a certain point in time to be loved not because someone HAS TO- but because they feel you have done something to DESERVE their love.
At first I thought it was the logic hair splitting- he has said that he loves me BECAUSE I am his son. So logic would dictate that if I was NOT his son, he wouldn’t love me; therefore his love is conditional on us being related…
HOWEVER, and I figured this out myself- so I could be wrong.
I think the problem is---- I want him to LOVE ME for ME. I want to be loved, not because he messed around with my mom… but because I’m a pretty nice guy.
I care for my step brother and sister- not because I HAVE to, but because I like them. Same goes for my step father- He’s MY step father. Whereas my father’s third wife is… his third wife and NOT my Step mother.
I hope this make sense. I’m tired and I think this is an important thought to share. I’m not a parent- but most of my blog readers ARE ;-)
So let me know as both a ‘child’ of someone and a parent IF it makes sense at a certain point in time to be loved not because someone HAS TO- but because they feel you have done something to DESERVE their love.
Labels: Dad
2 Comments:
At 10/09/2008 01:16:00 AM,
Unknown said…
I don't believe in loving a person just because they "deserve" it--I don't think a person can deserve to be loved. You either love them or you don't. One could expect a person to love their family, but nothing is absolute. Of course, you are getting this from a guy with an active absence of love for most of his extended family, so. . .
At 10/10/2008 10:20:00 AM,
Drew said…
Well a friend of mine has also pointed out that my dad has a history of lying to those he 'loves'.
He cheated on MY mom with the woman who became his second wife- and on the second wife with the woman who became his 3rd wife...
So it's hard for me to take him at face value if I know that he lies to people he loves and 'trades' up.
Same friend pointed out that if my dad felt he had a bit more 'mileage' he'd be thinking of dumping wife 3 to find a wife 4... *shrug*
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