The Wedding

Ok I’ve had a week to calm down and put things in perspective… though I felt like I scratched at the wound when the newlyweds arrived at the store today.

Let’s start at the beginning. As I said a week ago Tuesday( about 4 days before the wedding), plans were still in flux about how me and most of the wedding party( including the bride and groom) were getting to Six Flags- where the wedding was to take place. This I took to be a bad sign… which it was.
I don’t have a driver’s license, the bride didn’t have a credit card and the groom didn’t have a credit card and his license was suspended. So on Wednesday (about 3 days before the wedding) I was resigned to taking the bus for two hours with the groom, the bride and the bride’s son, and I thought the old guy from the store and another friend of the groom’s… On Friday, I find out from my friend who’s performing the ceremony- that the old guy from the store- who’s had a stroke and has a slightly different view of reality… has both a credit card AND a driver’s license.. which scares me. The old guy has found out that Avis will accept his license, credit card, and let someone else- the bride- drive. I tell the groom that he’s to call my voice mail when they got everything finalized; so I know what time to set my alarm.
The Groom ends up calling me just as I’m getting home from work… less then 12 hours before we’re to leave the groom tells me we’re taking the bus because Avis wouldn’t accept HIS license. I was like… woo! Back up… You knew your license was suspended, so what happened when you used your wife’s license. They didn’t’. Apparently the groom didn’t want to embarrass her, as he wasn’t sure if her license was suspended as well. I told him I planned to NOT say anything on their wedding day- but the fact that they didn’t cuff him after finding out his license was suspended… meant he should’ve tried hers. I was pissed. I set my alarm…
I pre-packed as I just wanted to get up, shave, eat, shower and get going. I packed swim trunks for the water park; a watch, to help wrangle the old guy( as the bride hates him and wanted me to help her with him); and a Flash T-shirt to wear at wedding. I wore a Kinky Friedman: May the God of your choice bless you. I felt it was an appropriate shirt (and was appreciated by several people), red shorts (which Flash liked) and I put in my pockets- a wallet, a cliff bar and some reeses’ pieces.
When I met them… the old guy wasn’t there, nor was the other friend… they both were taking a later bus. I almost kicked myself for not taking the later bus, but I wanted to go enjoy the park and help this guy get married. The groom tells me to put my bag in his, so we’ll have less stuff to worry about (this is an important fact later). I keep my cliff bar and choco in my pants, as well as my wallet, natch. I shrug as the other person, who’s not that reliable himself is going to have to help the old guy get places…Seating was me next to the groom, and the bride next to her son. Both bride and groom were on edge…. And it was NOT helped by her cigarette habit. She was bitchy and pissed off as she had to go TWO HOURS between smokes. It also didn’t help that her son was an annoying brat. He brought a Game Boy Advance, and I envied him at the start this distraction… however he ended up abusing it by keeping a running commentary of what was going on. It finally pissed his mom off so much that the son and the groom switched seats. I didn’t mind his babbling as I chalked it up to background noise. I just tried to tune them all out and told the groom before they switched seats that he needed to relax/ unclench. And gave my chocos to the groom as it seemed he needed food, and I had eaten my bowl of cereal, with blueberries.
When we got Six Flags, the groom used 1 by 1 get one free coupons to get us all in. It seems these coupons were better then any sort of group discount the park would give us. So all 4 of us are there a good bit before everyone else and we check out the Hall of Justice before going back to the entrance of 6 Flags to greet the rest of the party. Coming out of the Hall was where it REALLY started going to pieces. The groom was handling everything and the bride was staying in the background, which is how I’ve usually dealt with them. I liked the groom, the bride not so much. She however gets annoyed that no one is paying attention to HER because it’s HER WEDDING DAY and OBVIOUSLY these women (yes the park has female workers) were talking to the groom and not her. This gets HIM annoyed because he feels she’s getting angry for no reason, which I gotta tell you is something you don’t tell a woman.
It however ALL falls to pieces at the box office. You see the car situation was a symptom of the whole thing. He had a problem because she didn’t help in the planning so he had to do everything himself… Me, and my friend the ‘minister’ had a problem because everything he did was ½ ass. He had planned to stay at the box office and give EVERYONE money and coupons as they came in to the park. This was stupid as not everyone was coming in at the same time/ together. So right away it hits a snag as THREE people came together( do the math- buy one get one free doesn’t work with 3 people). So he throws a fit and stomps off… I didn’t see where he went as I was too busy collecting his stuff( he left money and his cell phone around the box office). I then went with the son to find the groom…. We started looking for him at the Hall of Justice.. During our search I decided that I liked the son less then the groom. Not only was he talking smack about his mom, who I will admit that I don’t like, BUT he basically was angry at her for messing up HIS day at 6 Flags with his cousins. I just started getting pissed.
We then found out that the groom was OUT of the park, and at the bus stop. I told the kid to stay with his mom, because I didn’t want him around. I went to the bus stop, where the groom was… sitting with a female park worker fyi… and asked how we could fix this. I didn’t push him to get married… as I far as I was concerned if he wanted to take the next bus back… I’d just get my flash caps and join him… He just vented to me and a bunch of female park workers about how unfair the bride was and how she didn’t help with the planning and how hard things were… And I can’t stop thinking that maybe if HE had done some thinking, things would be easier… as while conceptually getting married in the Hall of Justice sounds cool… less cool if you have to pay $25 for each person just to get to the ceremony( not counting the 4 hours both ways and money THEY have to spend to get to the event). We get back to the wife, the kid and her sister. I tell them I need food as it’s LUNCH time. So I leave and spend $9 on an over price SLICE of pizza and fries. I take some time to unwind a bit before the wedding… I watch the Nightwing ride and the Batman Show( which btw, hasn’t been updated since Batman Forever as it has Two face and Riddler, who I think were played by the same guy)… and then I go to the Hall of Justice to meet with the rest of the wedding party.
I should mention here. The Hall of Justice is NOT worth $50 admission to see (which is what it costs to get in without the buy 1 get 1 free). It’s a largish room, compared to a room in a private home… I’d bet that the gift store is bigger then the Hall of Justice. There are a bunch of Radio Shack/ Ikea type electronics all over the walls and two tubes that are suppose to be transporter tubes. The transporter tubes and the buttons on the walls do NOTHING. There’s a table in the middle of the room… but no chairs with the Justice League insignias, though some of them are on the wall. The lamest thing I thought was ‘backstage’. After the wedding they let us see backstage… there was an old fansite( evan if you have it still please post it as I lost it) that did dc characters in the Batman/ Superman style BEFORE the Justice League cartoon… I say this because there was a picture of Huntress in her outfit around NML on the wall… So the picture wasn’t of her JLU days or from the current comic but a bad print out from a fan site.
The Justice Leaguers at the wedding were Batman, Robin in his new outfit, Flash (Barry Belt ;-) ), Hal ( but in the animated outfit) and Wonder Woman( who had flesh covered stockings as it was a bit nippy out… and she ended up putting on her cloak). You are not going to see pics of me at the wedding. I don’t think I look good. I think I look downright psychotic which I think shows you what a day I had. I didn’t change into my Flash shirt as I forgot to get my bag from the groom before getting food.
Now all of the guys stayed in character, which I found a tad annoying as I was tired and didn’t want to deal with them… My friend then started the ceremony and did a bang up job of it… He even had a friend of his supply music with the bagpipes. And then came what I thought was the icing on the cake… the bride and groom SUCKED. I don’t mean I thought their vows to each other were ultra lame… I mean they didn’t project so NO ONE heard them. How lame is that.
So after cake, I talk to the groom about getting my trunks back. See most of 6 Flags rides are of the roller coaster variety and I don’t like adrenaline rushes… but I like water. So I talked to the groom and told him I’d met him at the ticket office in a ½ hour.
So me, the minister, his gal and couple of his pals go to one of the food places. They get food and I chat with them- the minister type gives them about a year after I tell them all about the almost not being a wedding. I like hanging out with them and the stress of the day seems to lessen. However they decided that since they didn’t want to go to the water park, and I most certainly had a need for water… so I went to meet the groom to get my bag myself. The groom wasn’t there even though I thought ½ hour was plenty of time. And then about 5 min later I figure it was TOO much time and he had come and gone. So I call him on his cell phone and when I don’t get him, I ask to go through his bag… which gets me a bit icked out when I have to go through the bride’s bag…. But no MY bag. I then call him again. He tells me he lost my bag, but knows where it is. So I wait another 20 min. for him. No groom. So I call his cell and tell him that I’d rather get the next bus( which leaves in about 45 min) then wait for my trunks… esp. as I really didn’t want to a) stay in the park for another 3 hours and b) go back with him and the bride. I then go quickly to the Hall of Justice to get my Flash hat (which btw is child size but I still love it). I see him outside the Hall of Justice chatting to another one of his friends… I tell him that I’m getting the flash hat and then scramming. He tells me he’s sorry and he got me a Flash hat already and how can he ever make it up to me. I tell him try to find my bag or get me a Flash shirt to replace the one he lost. I don’t mention the shorts or the watch I just tell him to replace the shirt if he can’t find the hat. I then scram…
Now on my way to the bus I tried to get this treat ‘fried oreos’ I had never seen this before and I wanted to try it. I first tried to get it before the wedding but the stand was sold out so I tried another stand on my way out. I’m in line with maybe 20 min to go… and the line is slow. I have about 15 min and the person in front of me gets to the counter and then just keeps ordering. As she’s there more of the family comes up and asks her to get stuff for her. So I didn’t try the fried oreos.
So in conclusion: to sum up what I just said in a lot less space; I spent 4 hours and $50 to go to a theme park where I spent $9 for lunch, SAW a wedding( as I didn’t hear it) and spent most of my time at the park either waiting for the wedding or waiting for my shorts.

Epilogue: The groom didn’t ‘cowboy up’ and admit that he lost my stuff until he saw me today. He complained that the old guy who took pictures didn’t do a good job and wanted the negatives from said old guy- as he couldn’t figure out the order of the pictures. While he gave me the Flash hat and a cute Harley stuffed toy, he did NOT bring me a Flash shirt… He made some lame excuse about how he didn’t get my message( which I left on Tuesday) for a few days… and in my mind I wondered why today I was still being nice to him. Granted when customers came into the store, I talked to them and pretty much ignored the guy and his wife… but when I did talk to them, I was my usual nice self. Even if I was like ‘good luck getting them from the old guy, that’s what you get by putting him in charge of ANYTHING’. I almost lost it, when I later saw the old guy and he admitted that since he switched off of two IDENTICAL cameras, that he’d be hard pressed himself in putting the pics in order.